• Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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      2 小时前

      Because apparently he had spiders in his ancestry. Most other people don’t have spiders in their ancestry which is why he was so weird.

  • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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    19 小时前

    Suggesting all homophobes are gay is a great way for the straight community to avoid taking responsibility for their role in perpetrating homophobia. Most homophobes are straight haters.

    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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      2 小时前

      I’ve said before that the projection arguement is just used too often. Yes some of them are probably in denial about their own preferences but I would say that the vast majority are just awful people.

      I think transphobics tend to have a greater chance of being trans than homophobics have been gay, possibly because homophobia is looked down on by society, (at least in the West) in a way that maybe transphobia isn’t quite as much. There are countries that have legalised gay marriage, but not hormone therapy, which is just bizarre.

    • Test_Tickles@lemmy.world
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      6 小时前

      I think that homophobes are jealous of gays. Jealous and envious to the point of hate. I think that homophobes span the entire human range of desires but at some point the thing that they desire the most was denied to them because it is “evil”. And they just can’t fucking handle the idea of gay/trans/ect out there just doing what they desire and not being punished for it. I think for many of them, homosexual and bisexual desires are definitely the issue, but there’s plenty of straight homophobes with desires that they have been told is evil. And then there’s the plenty who actually want truly evil shit.
      But you are correct, it’s not just closeted gays hating on themselves, it just happens that those seem to be the ones that seem to be the most vocal and visible.

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      5 小时前

      they dint say All homophobes are gay, its just alot of them. the most outspoken ones tend to be the ones in the closet, or the ones that act very strangely around the notion of being gay. for the latter, i saw a video of a bodybuilder who was Hiding his face with a surgical mask(way before pandemic), everyone commented how he afraid of being gay, eventhough he showing off his body.(which is wierd in itself, because asians are pretty conservative as well)

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        2 小时前

        the most outspoken ones tend to be the ones in the closet

        Just out of interest where are you getting that information from? Of all the really outspoken ones, the ones with online followings and the ones that are always turning up at rallies, I can’t think of any that have ever actually come out as gay. So how do we know if they’ve been in denial or not?

    • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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      18 小时前

      Secretly gay/bisexual. Closeted. Self-hating, spreading their hate. Trying to cling onto a precarious hold on the straight lifestyle, they want to eliminate “temptation”. Dudes, it’s only tempting if you’re already bi.

      At least on the right it seems that way, with the Republican convention regularly crashing grindr.

    • LumiNocta@lemmy.zip
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      18 小时前

      Look for telltale signs in your marriage like:

      • does it spin a web
      • does it love you
      • does it walk on the ceiling

      If any of these are true you might be married to a human.

  • ChillCapybara@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 天前

    As a child, I was terribly afraid of spiders. Until I did a science project on them and discovered I was an arachnophile after all and I’ve never looked back.

    • korazail@lemmy.myserv.one
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      23 小时前

      I’m an arachnophobe when I just walked through her web and don’t know where the fuck she is. From a distance, though, I’m all ‘Wow, what a wonderful creature!’

      The spider spinning a web in front of my door is an asshole. The one eating things inside my house is a bro. The one guarding my rose bush is beautiful.

      If you’re spider-curious, take a look at Travis McEnery. If you think your an arachnophobe, check him out too; exposure therapy worked for Chill and youtube is a safe distance from the spiders.

  • krooklochurm@lemmy.ca
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    24 小时前

    Because most homophobes aren’t afraid of gay people. They hate them. It’s a very non descriptive labels fan is technically incorrect in most cases, though it DOES work as an insult to homophobes by making them seem like an absolute fucking wuss so I’m not in arms about that. In fact, I support it despite this fact. Fuck you, homophobes, you fucking dicks.

      • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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        5 小时前

        kinda wierd mental gymnastics on these people. but i think its more likely closeted gay homophobes, dont wanted to be OUTED being gay themselves, because they have ties to conservative/religious groups,families they dont want to be cut off from. people who often come out as gay when they are young in a coservative/religious community will often be disowned immediately by the family and the community. mOST dont consider people like thiel(probably bad example) to be openly gay, eventhough he knows hes gay, he does everything in his power to suppress any news about him in the media all the time.(its an ulterior motive of trying to gain favors with the conservative base/ GOP so they dont intefere with his companies, business pratices like Palintir. gawker/hulk lawsuit being one of them(the motivation behind him doing it is his business pratices). not to mention last year, he had Boy toy “defenestrated” in florida, and it was like on reddit for like half a day, before it was buried.

    • Korthrun@lemmy.sdf.org
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      19 小时前

      Consider a usage other than “fear”. Think of something hydrophobic. Do you really think that an inanimate surface is afraid of water?

      I don’t think it’s technically incorrect, I think folks have been taught an overly narrow usage of the suffix.

    • just2look@lemmy.zip
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      1 天前

      So its not entirely just a stereotype. They have done studies on it, and it holds remarkably true. I’ll see if I can find one of them for you.

      Edited to add a link to the study: Homophobia study

      • Bonson@sh.itjust.works
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        13 小时前

        Thank you for citing sources, remarkable that there is statistically an interaction. I wonder what other common phenomena people may be in denial about?

    • stray@pawb.social
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      1 天前

      It’s not blaming homosexuals in general; it’s blaming specifically those homosexuals who help uphold systems of oppression. It’s the same as women who uphold sexism or pickme minorities. They’re using the oppression of others as a shield against their own oppression instead of joining the fight for equality.

      • Allonzee@lemmy.world
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        1 天前

        Exactly.

        It’s not accusing the being gay of fucking them up, it’s accusing the unhealthy repression.

      • Skua@kbin.earth
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        1 天前

        Gay people in denial are still gay though. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be in denial

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          1 天前

          Not closeted people, just those in denial. If you’re in the closet, that means you’re scared of coming out, whereas someone who’s in denial has some unhealthy reason to want to not be gay that leads them to hate that part of themselves.

          • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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            1 天前

            ahh, so much better

            How about we just attack homophobic people for being homophobic, instead of using gay as an insult in a roundabout way of calling them a hypocrite?

            • Mrs_deWinter@feddit.org
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              1 天前

              As a queer person I never understood this

              They are not being attacked for being gay. They are specifically attacked for being homophobic.

              TERFS are also not being attacked for being women, nor is attacking TERFS an attack against all women either.

              Attacking someone who’s bi or homosexual in denial and overcompensating that with hatred says absolutely nothing about gay people as a whole, or implies in any way that being gay is problematic.

              And to be completely honest here, it feels kinda presumptuous the way this is being argued. Almost like it shouldn’t be allowed to criticise someone gay for any reason at all. Queer people are a very diverse group of people and obviously we have assholes, too. It’s not doing anyone a favor if we act like that’s impossible.

              • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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                17 小时前

                They are specifically attacked for being homophobic.

                No, they are attacked for (assumingly) being gay

                • Mrs_deWinter@feddit.org
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                  17 小时前

                  Maybe you and I are having different conversations then. I’ve never experienced it being taken this way.

            • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@feddit.uk
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              1 天前

              I just wish there was a clean way to diss them for weaponising their self-hatred. If you think of a really pithy insult for people who externalise their negative feelings, please share with the rest of us, it’s badly needed.

              • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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                1 天前

                weaponising their self-hatred

                But it’s also just regular hatred, same reason you can’t call racist people the N word.

                Even if there was a slur for hypocrites, that’s still just an ad hominem instead of attacking them for their behavior (the actual problem)

                • stray@pawb.social
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                  1 天前

                  But if there were a slur for hypocrites that word would by definition be attacking them for their behavior since hypocrisy is a behavioral choice and not an element of personal identity.

                  I’ve actually heard “coon” from a black leftist to refer to black conservatives who try to protect themselves by being “one of the good ones” in the eyes of right-wing racists. The term isn’t something I’m comfortable using myself as a white person, but I don’t think it’s problematic or racist because it’s directed at their harmful behavior and not their skin color.

    • just2look@lemmy.zip
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      1 天前

      This study kind of illustrates it may be true. It’s not a huge sample size, but its difficult to deny there is at least a significant correlation.

      • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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        1 天前

        I only need to open Grindr at a Republican convention to know for sure. Also, good luck with the servers not crashing.

      • yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 天前

        That’s not what the study says??

        I don’t have access to the full text, but it certainly doesn’t state most homophobes display attraction to gay porn.

        It says there is a correlation. If 5% of the population is gay and 10% of homophobes are gay, then homophobia is correlated with being gay.

        But stating most homophobes are gay would require evidence that >50% are gay, not just that there exists a correlation.

      • CXORA@aussie.zone
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        1 天前

        As noted, its a small sample size, and even in that sample size the homophobic participants exhibited “arousal” to all sexual stimuli.

        I don’t think that makes someone gay.

        You also have to consider the subset of self described homophobes who would consent to having a device strapped to their genitalia while they are shown gay porn…

        They may not be a representative of the larger group.

        • village604@adultswim.fan
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          18 小时前

          The key factor is that only the homophobes experienced arousal when shown gay porn.

          Also, a small sample size doesn’t instantly invalidate a study.

          • CXORA@aussie.zone
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            8 小时前

            The key factor is that it neither answers nor proves the claim. Linking it shows a failure to read even the abstract.

            • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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              5 小时前

              wierdly how you dont think homophobic people are not gay themselves, you do realize how many people have sham marriages/relationships because they are secretely gay. if you go to any platform where gay people of experiences coming out, many of them had relationships with straight people to appear straight.

              • CXORA@aussie.zone
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                5 小时前

                This is a strawman, and not what I claimed at all. Please read my comments more carefully if you wish to understand what I am saying.

        • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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          1 天前

          Well, secretly bi then.

          Why is there such a high frequency of republican conventions crashing grindr, if it’s not men with repressed desires for man-on-man sex that daren’t reveal their location in their home town?

          Why do conservatives claim that the gay lifestyle is a choice, if they themselves didn’t choose the straight lifestyle?

          If they were completely straight, why would they think that seeing gay relationships in books entices young people into gay relationships? Surely someone 100% straight would be unaffected and it wouldn’t occur to them that it was attracting young people who weren’t already that way inclined.

          Every fear conservatives have of gay people only makes sense if they’re coming from a bisexual perspective themselves.

          Imagine you don’t find lizards at all appealing as pets and you think the vast majority of people feel the same way. Do you complain when they show people who own lizards on the television on the grounds that it entices lizard ownership? No! Now imagine you find lizard ownership really really appealing but you think it’s a disaster ecologically and cruel for the lizard or something. Now you’re writing angry social media posts saying they ought not to depict that on television because it only encourages it.

          Purely straight men have nothing whatsoever to fear from gay men. Only reluctant bi men worry about it and ask society to remove the temptation.

          • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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            5 小时前

            they come from in-groups, religious communities that shun lgbtq+ they dont want to lose access to that community, so they performatively "project:

            • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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              18 小时前

              Conservatives. Conservatives are renowned for stigmatising LGBT folk out here in the real world. I thought most people knew this, but apparently not you.

              • CXORA@aussie.zone
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                8 小时前

                But only gay conservatives according to you.

                And the reason they stigmatise queer people is … because they’re conservative.

                If you insist that according to logic homophobia comes from queer people in denial, you need to bridge that last gap to avoid circular reasoning.

                • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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                  6 小时前

                  I never claimed they were at all logical. Conservatives? Nope.

                  To actually answer your question, though, it’s a vicious cycle passed down from generation to generation. A bit of teasing others for being different is normal in children because of the fear of others, but responsible adults and parents teach children that that’s not OK and a lot of people learn to share and be kind. Not so much conservatives. Conservatism is a developmental/learning disorder.

                  The ones that go on as adults to be loud homophobes and start making all kinds of claims about how it’s a choice and objecting to the existence of gay literature or gay porn or out gay people are clearly still frightened, but of what? Why do they feel the need to make it so clear they want nothing to do with it? Why do they call gay porn temptation if it isn’t tempting? Why do they worry that young people will see something gay and feel the urge to join “the gay lifestyle” if it left them cold and unmoved? Why so they call it a lifestyle choice if they never had to choose? The answer is really simple but somehow you can’t see it and you instead deny it strongly.

  • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club
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    1 天前

    Ok, but ewww, imagine the other way around - seeing a spider doing normal spider-bro things, but it’s turns out it’s a human?