I know it’s nobody’s fault but my own that I’m disgusting trash. I know it’s unreasonable and unrealistic to expect anyone to like me. I don’t know what is so wrong with me. I understand I’m ugly, poor, stupid, annoying, and so on. My physical attributes are underwhelming at best.
People simply do not see me in a romantic way. I do my best to avoid being a creep. I know sometimes just being looked at by someone like me is offensive. I try to never say anything that would ever make anyone uncomfortable. I read online about how to act or not act so people like you. I greet everyone by name, I ask how they are, I’m compassionate and empathetic. I’m not a man although I’m supposed to be. I wish I could take hormones and actually be a man, but they say my testosterone is fine. I’m not tough and my beard grows sporadically.
I can’t change the things that are wrong. I’m overweight but only slightly, and I only looked worse when I went lower. I’ll never get taller and I’ll always be “short” at 5’9". Fundamentally my personality is flawed. I mean, besides being ugly I’m also an extremely mediocre person. My hobbies and interests are all cringe embarrassments. Things are worse if I like them. Everything I do is wrong. I’ve never made the right decisions and I’m not successful.
Everyone else is more important than me. Everyone else matters. They deserve compassion and understanding but I do not. I hate everything about myself and have for a long time. I hate myself in the past and the future. I never suffer enough. I’m never miserable enough. I should have just done better. I remember my first mistakes began in kindergarten and only ever snowballed from there.
I try not to have unrealistic expectations. I don’t expect anyone who isn’t also flawed to like me. I’m not trying to date models. I just want to be okay existing and be accepted by regular normal people. Everyone is always dating or having intimate relations. All the worlds an orgy, but I’m not invited.
I guess all of that to say, I accept that I am an ugly loser, I accept I’m not good enough, but how do I cope with that? What’s the point of life when I’ll be excluded from so much of it?
And please, I know I should just be different, but I’m not. I wish my parents had killed me at birth. I don’t understand why they didn’t. If I could be a different person I would. If I could inhabit another body, I would. So telling me to just stop being so horrible, when every day I try my hardest not to be, won’t help. I’m already as nice, forgiving, understanding, as I can figure out how to be. I try to carefully answer. I try to say the right thing, the most helpful and ideologically correct statement.
Also no this is not AI, I’m just a psycho. This comic caused me legitimate psychological damage.
I am fully prepared to die during the revolution. I would die today if it would help advance our cause.
I’ll never get taller and I’ll always be “short” at 5’9".
Am I on 4chan rn
Susan, forced to accept sexual harassment from a boss due to workplace hierarchy: “aw you’re sweet! (Wish I could call hr on this fucking asshole, but they’ll just fire me because their job is to protect the boss.)”
Susan, not denied the right to complain about sexual harassment from a coworker: “hello, HR?”
I’m going to be real with you, your finances and physical appearance matter very little to all but the most shallow 5% of people. The actual barrier to relationships in these scenarios is always and unfailingly due to personality. Your self-hatred is both concerning and very visible in the way you write about yourself. You have constructed/fallen for a narrative of incel victimization which affects your personality negatively. The words you use and the way you talk about yourself are enormous red flags indicating severe self-hatred and severe depression. That is why people have little interest in spending time with you.
People don’t like incels, not because they’ve arbitrarily decided to victimize them, but because they’re miserable in a way that makes everyone around them deeply uncomfortable. Misery loves company, but nobody else wants to be miserable.
I’m going to be real with you, your finances and physical appearance matter very little to all but the most shallow 5% of people.
I don’t understand how one can look around and come to this conclusion. Platitudes that fly against every analysis we make wrt every other topic are somehow accepted here in discussions such as dating.
Your looks matter in dating, your material conditions matter, your race matters, your personality matters, the cards you’ve been dealt with in life matter. In fact, so much of not being lonely, having community, or having intimate relationships, comes down to things outside of your own control.
This isn’t to say you can’t do your best to improve, even get what you want…’chance favors the prepared mind’ and ‘not trying won’t get you anywhere’ so on and so forth….but it’s also a little empowering, if nothing else, to know that some things are not your fault, that you’re going up shit creek without a paddle.
OP wasn’t born feeling this way
I know it’s nobody’s fault but my own that I’m disgusting trash.
He was made to feel this way, and while he is trapped in a depressive cycle that makes it impossible for him to acknowledge positive moments and reaffirming thoughts, his experiences are probably not a result of isolated instances by a minority of people
The user is trapped in a depressive cycle that makes it impossible for him to acknowledge positive moments and reaffirming thoughts. He has spent likely years building up and weaponizing his own brain against himself and his very identity has become about how much he hates himself.
Yet somehow this is the fault of
societywomen.Every single time someone posts an incel screed like this, women show up and tell them exactly what they’re doing wrong, reaffirming that they are absolutely not a “nice guy” because the actions they describe as kind or normal are neither of those things. Every single time, the same handful of users show up to make the same reply over and over:
We can explain it to you, but we can’t understand it for you. I am so very tired of having this conversation at least once a month on this site.
Awfully uncharitable take given what I wrote. I’m not engaging in this incel/‘’nice guy’ internet discourse bullshit.
Btw, you know what else matters? OP’s lived experiences. You haven’t run through the entire spectrum of life, you haven’t been in his shoes, and you don’t know with certainty how to actually fix what ails him. Youmve convinced yourself that you know more than he does, that you’re better than him but what’s far likelier is that you’re luckier than he is in some way shape or form. Whatever solution your prescribe to him might even work, might be the objectively correct way to tackle things, but it’ll come immeasurably harder to him and should he get there, his success should be celebrated because he did a lot more than other people have to do.
but what’s far likelier is that you’re luckier than he is in some way shape or form
you don’t know Lyudmila’s lived experiences either
most people who get sucked into incel rhetoric are sucked into it because the incel movement actively tries to project new insecurities onto men as a means to recruit them, which isn’t an unreasonable conclusion to make from OP’s post given the misogynistic incel bait comic and the toxic masculinity-driven talking points about being too short at 5’9" and not having “manly” facial hair.
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start thinking outside the confines of internet terminology
touch grass
lol
if you think that incel culture, andrew tate and his ilk, MRA, etc. haven’t had horrific real world consequences then you need to touch grass.
and no shit i’m ging to use “internet terminology” on the internet. fuck off.
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I’m going to be real with you, your finances and physical appearance matter very little to all but the most shallow 5% of people. The actual barrier to relationships in these scenarios is always and unfailingly due to personality
can’t get your foot in the door if nobody opens it when you knock. There’s a minority of extremely shallow people, sure, but lookism is everywhere. People of all genders get rejected before personality can even be evaluated.
If someone is posting about these woes I don’t assume that they’re so forward about their problems in different social contexts (and if you are, OP, don’t) but I don’t understand how someone is supposed to present these problems without coming off that way.
People don’t like incels, not because they’ve arbitrarily decided to victimize them, but because they’re miserable in a way that makes everyone around them deeply uncomfortable.
I feel like this is at odds with how widespread “virgin” is as an insult and how many people talk about lack of sexual experience as though it were an indictment of someone’s quality as a human being.
(To be clear though, OP’s comic is definitely cringe)
I have literally never heard this come up in conversation. I have checked in with multiple other highly socially active adults who also have never heard anyone talking about this.
Who the fuck is talking about or denigrating virginity on a regular basis, outside of 12-year-old boys and incel forums? Is this what men talk about when they’re alone? If so, blame toxic masculinity, not women.
I have literally never heard this come up in conversation.
I have. Often by adults. Less often but still fairly commonly among people who identified as left-wing. This idea doesn’t emerge from the ether. For a while it was a meme in some places I frequented that asexuality wasn’t a real orientation and asexuals were all just disgusting human failures who were in denial over their inability to get laid. These weren’t CHUD hives, these were places that would ban homophobes and transphobes on sight.
If so, blame toxic masculinity, not women.
Believe me, I blame nothing but toxic masculinity. It’s fucked me up in more ways than I can count, and anyone who pretends virgin shaming is somehow the fault of women is a fool.
Which specific spaces are you talking about?
I can’t really elaborate without getting into some dark and painful memories, I’m afraid, so I think this is the point where I should disengage.
It’s good to know when you’re unable to continue with a conversation, disengaging is totally reasonable.
But if even naming those niche spaces is painful, I definitely wouldn’t consider the toxic opinions expressed there to be mainstream or representative of broader culture.
you live in a world in which incels and nice guys are a salient topic and yet you’ve never heard of virgin shaming?
Heard vs heard of.
I’ve definitely heard lots of people whingeing about it online. I have never, ever heard an adult virgin shaming someone in a real life conversation.
I’ve definitely heard lots of people whingeing about it online.
Lol?
Random posters online telling stories about something that very clearly didn’t actually happen are not something I take seriously.
“And then everyone in the grocery store clapped, that kid’s name was Albert Einstein, $100%” bullshit is not reflective of any reality.
Gotta start with this one
I’ve never seen that edit, lol thank you.
This is the way
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I know it’s nobody’s fault but my own that I’m disgusting trash. I know it’s unreasonable and unrealistic to expect anyone to like me
stopped reading here.
just care about your hygiene and fitness. stop hating yourself. nothing else matters.
nothing else matters.
maybe not the time and place for jokes
i’m not joking ?
if i’m wrong please call me out. but i still feel like i’m right.
i figured you weren’t serious there because so many other things matter besides fitness and hygiene. some under our control, but mostly not.
ok. you could just ask me if i was speaking literally or not.
like. come on. be charitable.
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productive response. ty for your contribution.
jfc fuck off. are you serious?
Depression lies to you about yourself. It makes you think bad things about you that just aren’t true. That’s a fact. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help. For reflecting on how learned toxic masculinity hurts oneself and others, the book “The Will to Change” by Bell Hooks is a great start.
I’m not a man although I’m supposed to be. I wish I could take hormones and actually be a man, but they say my testosterone is fine. I’m not tough and my beard grows sporadically.
If you have access to health care maybe some testosterone or gender affirming care would help but quite honestly dude nothing wrong with you here. A lot of people like femme men 🤷. You don’t have to be the most popular kind of person to be someone’s favorite. There are like 8 billion people a few are bound to be into what you got going on.
**I can’t change the things that are wrong. **
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You can change its just difficult and slow
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Nothing is wrong with you. The system we live in just doesn’t work for some people. A great big chunk of them. It’s designed to keep your crushed and kill your self esteem. I’m sorry it’s been so effective for you. 🫂
**Fundamentally my personality is flawed. **
If you listen to nothing else I say please take this to heart. I’ve seen so many people that get themselves stuck on a negative headspace by repeating vague unprovable or disprovable things about themselves to themselves. You say your personality is flawed. What does that even mean? How do you quantify it? If it was true or not how would you measure it? Please try to think on more tangible concrete terms. Even if something negative is true thinking about it this way will help reveal how to fix it. Instead of “my personality is flawed” maybe it’s “I can’t hold someone’s interest in a conversation, or I can’t control my impulses and annoy people.” Those are both more concrete things that you can measure and improve on.
My hobbies and interests are all cringe embarrassments.
Bro everyone has embarrassing hobbies, do other people have those hobbies? (They do) Those people will make good friends. You just gotta find em.
**Everything I do is wrong. I’ve never made the right decisions and I’m not successful. **
This is another example of vague unhelpful thinking that gets you stuck in a negative loop. Cut it out. Be specific about what you don’t like. To the point you could measure it and think about how you could improve even the littlest bit.
**Everyone else is more important than me. Everyone else matters. They deserve compassion and understanding but I do not. **
According to who? Whose opinion of you matters so much to you?
I’m sure billionaire love that you and so many others feel this way. Makes you easier to exploit.
I try not to have unrealistic expectations… All the worlds an orgy, but I’m not invited.
Seems like you do have unrealistic expectations. People aren’t having nearly as much sex as you seem to think they do.
If you’re looking for sex and more direct communication go to your local bdsm club. They’re full of autistic and ADHD peeps who say exactly what they mean. You can get some action and make some friends.
**What’s the point of life when I’ll be excluded from so much of it? **
Dude have you ever had cheese steak sub? Life’s pleasure are varied and unending. Having a good time is the point. Enjoy your life😀
I am fully prepared to die during the revolution. I would die today if it would help advance our cause.
No one is asking you to die. You’d just be making us leftists even more of a minority. If you really want to do something for others then Live and push to the left whenever you can.
If you’re looking for sex and more direct communication go to your local bdsm club. They’re full of autistic and ADHD peeps who say exactly what they mean. You can get some action and make some friends.
i don’t think telling single straight men to go to a munch is conducive to the continuing existence of munches.
I think you over estimate how many would actually go. So many single straight men are too sexually insecure to go to something like that at least in my experience but idk🤷
I’ve been suggesting this same thing to single men my entire life. I’ve only gotten one other guy to try it out. Last I talked to him about it he was interviewed on Howard Stern while being pegged.
Hell, people suggested it to me for years (in some online kink communities) before a couple I knew took me to a dungeon with em. Great experience wish I would have gone sooner.
Last I talked to him about it he was interviewed on Howard Stern while being pegged.
Dudes rock
Yeah he’s a legend but just a few years ago he was talking about himself the way OP in this thread is now.
11·17 days agoLast I talked to him about it he was interviewed on Howard Stern while being pegged
So was he talking to a third person while being pegged?
Yep, some man from the show (not Howard Stern himself) interviewed him while a domme pegged him
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What a mess you people have left me with, once again. I received many reports. OP, if this is a serious post and not an alt of a bait account, feel free to message me. For now I’m closing this trash.
Im almost certain this is an alt account of a user who regularly makes incel posts
You could start bynot posting this incel comic in your ‘how do i be a better person’ thread
I think most people at one time or another feel like they’re not good enough for one reason or another, either because they feel that they’re not good looking enough, or don’t have enough money, or for any reason. It can be hard not to let the self-hatred consume you. But those are only feelings- most people who find love wouldn’t have done so if only the most beautiful and perfect people ever found it. You’re probably not nearly as unattractive as you think you are, and if you’re well-meaning and nice, then there’s probably someone out there for you.
You DO deserve compassion and understanding.
I mostly just don’t. Keep hoping something will happen eventually. I don’t want to be alone forever either.
Also 5 9 isn’t short, at least in the US. Taller then average.
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Self hatred is easier than self compassion. It’s easier to give up on yourself than to try. There’s nothing so wrong with you that you cannot practice self compassion, and there is no reason not to. Try this. We care about you and we know that you are worthy of love
Lots of good posts in this thread, but I’ll take a different approach and say that if you’re loving and kind to people and animals and you are in any way handy/able to fix broken things, friends will find you. They’ll be friends who need kindness, love, and things fixed, but they’ll appreciate that you can do that for them.
As Red Green once said, if women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Stop looking forward to dieing for the cause and find a way to live for it.
Start growing some houseplants; a living thing you see every day and control. It’ll give practice in compassion and it’ll give you something to talk about. Then get into gardening and giving away your surplus to food banks or neighbors.
