• VoxBunn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 hour ago

    It’s funny to me, that so many people think asexual means no sex ever under any circumstances.

    Like I’m an asexual woman, I can look at someone and think “they’re pretty/handsome” but I never think “it’d be hot if we did sexual stuff together”, I’m sex repulsed and I’ve still had sex too. I may think sex is gross, and I may not understand why people get horny like they do, but I understand they do, and if I can make my friend feel better by letting him put it in while I play Skyrim or something that’s okay. I like making my friend feel better. The thought of a penis going in a vagina is just so nasty, but if I don’t think about it, it can be fine. It’s not like I don’t have nerves down there, I can still feel good from it, even if I get repulsed by thinking about it.

  • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    17 hours ago

    Asexual ≠ Sex Repulsed

    Asexual = No Sexual Attraction

    There are ace folks who are sex repulsed but it isn’t the same thing. You can still have a sex drive without being sexually attracted to anyone. It’s definitely not the norm but one ace person I know will basically screw anyone because it’s all the same to her. While that’s a bit of an extreme example, there are plenty of sex positive ace folks out there. Personally I don’t feel sexual attraction but I still crave intimacy and sex is pretty intimate so it still fills that.

    • Zephyr@sh.itjust.works
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      8 hours ago

      Some of the kinkiest people I’ve known were ace, particularly in the bdsm community. Of the people I’ve known they were very into kinky and physical acts but just not anything involving sucking or fucking. Since their sexuality didn’t involve genitalia they tended to be pansexual or rather attracted to people regardless of their gender. I feel like you see more people of that mindset in the bdsm and sensualist communities because a lot of the “sex acts” don’t involve penetration or interaction with genitalia.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      some ace folks are just bullshitting about it all in a weird bid to seem cool and edgy and outside the mainstream of boring hetero or homo sex.

      but so are a lot of people in a lot of different ways.

      • Broadly true that people experiment with expressions of self and all that, but giving them the space to discover what and who they truly are breeds such extreme novelty and practical knowledge that it seems almost wholly unnecessary to even consider whether their present state might be their final one.

        Do a few people get overly into understanding their sexuality? Sure. Do most come out the other end appreciably improved and wholler? Yes. Putting them down puts down those who need it the most.

      • absentbird@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        Idk, maybe they are trying to express something about their internal experience of sex more than their behavior.

  • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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    16 hours ago

    fake: anon has a lot to learn about the asexual spectrum and viewing women as equal human beings but seems like not necessarily a lost cause

    gay: anon likes women, and women are gay

  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    anon has it all wrong. this is the reverse order

    you’re suppose to date women who like your looks and judge your interests and calls you gay for having them until you have no interests.

    and then they stop having sex with you for being boring and having no interests, and you lose your looks because you’ve lost all motivation and joy in life.

    that’s how you with this game.

  • otterpop@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Honestly kinda brilliant for that woman, great way to find someone interested in her for something other than her body/looks.

    • shneancy@lemmy.world
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      22 hours ago

      shr could also be a sex positive asexual

      asexuality technically only describes if one has sexual attraction. not if they like the pleasure that comes from the act itself (or the pleasure of the surrounding dynamic if they’re into kink)

      • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        15 hours ago

        Hey, that’s me you’ve described! I’m never horny but sex is so fascinating and disgusting (positive adjective) and neat. I have to legitimately schedule time with my partner and most of the time, we’re both just like “nah”

        But when I dooooo do things, it’s… high-tech? I’ve got a very expensive collection of high-quality toys of every sort and make it quite the experience for my partner, which brings me immense pleasure to do. I’m down to do pretty much anything, barring (non-CNC) nonconsent the hyper-gross stuff like poo and vom. Also mainstream, highly produced porn turns me off immensely but can be fun/funny to watch. It’s so… horribly fake, it’s the unsexiest thing. But there’s some bangers out there (lifeguard lady, lemons, but I poop from there, in front of my salad… I’d love more doozies if anyone reading this has any)

        I also like to cum, I suppose:

        • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 hours ago

          … you might try Bellesa.

          ‘Porn for Women’, basically… meaning that many of the uh … skits? are basically smut novel / short story plots, but actually acted out. All the ‘skits’ are directed by women.

          You’ll often get an intro with a character voiceover narrating a bit about themselves… what I’m trying to say is they actually attempt to have at least half decent plots, and sometimes what you could maybe call character arcs… and, while the sex can be uh, raucous, they also spend a good deal of time on the proper foreplay or whatnot, before hand, the building temptation, etc.

          The better ones are closer to X rated short films than … intentionally or unintentionally schlocky, more standard pornos.

          • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 hour ago

            Yes why (don’t know) then here (noun I don’t know) (don’t know)?

            Five years of Deutsch I took decades ago pays off again!

      • bountygiver [any]@lemmy.ml
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        1 day ago

        ya likely she put that to auto reject people who look for relationship for sex, then reveal when she believes the relationship can go stable.

        • Nefara@lemmy.world
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          11 hours ago

          There are plenty of asexuals who aren’t sex repulsed, the two are not the same thing. Yes, asexuals can enjoy sex, and doing so doesn’t mean they aren’t asexual.