I’ve been stung by a bee exactly twice in my life. Both unfortunate accidents where the bee and I collided.
I have long since lost count of how many times I have been stung by wasps just for being near them.
Bees don’t make nests above my door, or under my patio awning. Or generally everywhere outside I need to be. Fuck them wasps.
This is clearly wasp propaganda because wasps are not cool. They will actually attack you for no reason and then fly away thus indicating they could have always flown away.
Meanwhile bees completely ignore you.
The parasitic wasps can fuck right off. I worked in the southern I25 corridor of Colorado for a while and saw Tarantula Hawks. My first thought was that I had seen a humming bird the first time I saw one - they are that big. The poor little male tarantulas are just venturing for a end of life hookup and then they have to worry about being eaten alive by the spawn of these fuckers. Poor bastards.
I got stung by a wasp when I was a kid literally just for sitting in the backseat. I had done nothing at all, and I got stung like three times.
A few months back I was visiting my retired parents, and I wanted to break the routine a bit and decided to sit at a lakeside table we never used because it was redundant.
As I walked up to the table and sat my stuff down, I heard a “FWOMP” followed by a sound I can only describe as “chitinous rubbing”. I slowly checked my surroundings until I noticed an almost basketball sized mass of wasps waking up that had fallen with part of a hive underneath the table. In a moment of extreme calculation I decided the only one of six things on the table worth risking stings for was the tablet, and I sprinted for the first time in years to get away.
So, I guess thanks to the wasps for the fun new core memory.
bro you need to sprint more
Yeah, consider doing it like me: I sprint for the train every day!
Nothing personal against wasps. But I prefer them far away from me. Which often comes into conflict with their interests, as they have this nasty tendency to invade the space I occupy, as in my house, my patio, the places I have to go in order to work, etc. If they ignore me, I’ll show the same respect. If stingers come out blazing, insecticide starts being sprayed.
A bee has never aggressively investigated my lunch and refused to fuck off when I’m eating outside.
Like I’d happily spare some if they’d just get the fuck out of my face
the ones inspecting human food are one of the few agressive species. take care and maybe set up some traps at the table
3d print a fake hornet nest and put it near or on the table. Scares away wasps
But does it attract hornets?
Only if it has curb appeal
Also trap the nest with glue
I used to own a house with two pear trees. I learned to pick up any fruit that dropped, because the pear juice would ferment under the skin in the warm sun, the wasps would pierce the skin and drink the pear liqueur, and then relentlessly chase me around the yard. It turns out that wasps are belligerent drunks, which shouldn’t be surprising.
Bees on the other hand, are very fun drunks.
I was friends with a hive for years. One year they invited me to a spring bee-kegger. Many were just dancing, but some were so drunk they couldn’t lift-off from the grass because they couldn’t avoid the grass blades long enough to get into the sky.
I started providing a lift-off service so the drunk ones could keep dancing. Some of them were so drunk they just started snuggling my hand and would crawl into the nooks between my fingers and pass out for a while before waking refreshed and hitting the dance swarm again.
When I got home my daughter ran to me and gave me a hug. She jumped back so suddenly I was worried she almost killed a stray bee hiding somewhere and got stung.
“Where have you been?!” She said to me.
“Oh, I’ve been at a bee party all afternoon. They invited me. They were very drunk. It was amazing”
“Oh, that makes sense then. You smell like the essence of flowers, but not in a good way.”This is likely the best thing I will read today.
There’s a portion of my porch with a ramp where they clearly didn’t measure the width of the poles in the side of the ramp guard rail so there’s visible gaps in the top and bottom portions where it meets the actual rail and wasps LOVE to hover on in there and poke around, up to no good. I assume they’re after moisture or other insects but i want them to leave
One of them is chill and just zooms around to pollinate. The other tries to get into every place I don’t want it to be violently and then starts stinging when it inevitably gets stuck. Wasps always try to get into my food, fly somewhere in my clothes where it’ll inevitably get stuck, fly into my face, etc.
I’ve been stung multiple times by both. Bees was always my full idiocy (I was obsessed with insects as a kid). Wasps was never my fault though, those cunts just put themselves in harms way only to “defend themselves” when the inevitable happens
Put themselves in harms way only to get angry about their choices and “forced to defend themselves”… why does that sound so familiar
I’ve never understood their habit of nervously circling around my food for ages like some sort of pendulum of ruined picknicks. Why risk a fight when you could just get your food and fuck off? You’d think aeons of evolution would have corrected that. Sure, who doesn’t like to take a sniff or two before digging in but wasps need to grow the fuck up.
Thing is it’s not actually wasps but just a few very specific kinds of wasps that are assholes ruining the reputation for all.
Something similiar happens for bees. When people talk about them being endangered nowadays they don’t mean the domesticated honey bees many think about (those are cared enough for that populations are rather growing) but the many kinds of wild (and often solitary) bees.
Classic not all wasps apologist.
I feel like wasps seem more interested in both sweaty humans and our food compared to bees, so they get in your face in another way than bees do.
Our southern red brick wall houses a lot of red mason bees every year and even though they live just next to the porch they leave us be. I’ve had a tired bee take a break on my sun-warm shoulder once or twice, but that’s pretty much it.Yeah not all wasps.
But pretty much all the wasps I ever interact with. Idc about some other wild wasps that I never see because they’re chill and stay in the forest or something on their own.
Paper wasps are okay, they just want to eat rotting wood to make their nests. Fuuuuuuck eastern yellowjackets though. I’m pretty sure those assholes sting you on site because they enjoy it. They make me glad that we also have bald-faced hornets to keep them in check.
Last time I was stung by a wasp I was just standing on the street. I wasn’t even moving. I was standing for about 30 minutes waiting when suddenly a wasp came, stung me on the neck and went away flying.
It was a “fuck you in particular” with qll the letters.
That happened to me too. I was standing in line at the bakery and got stung in the neck by a fucking wasp I didn’t even see coming. Fuck those guys.
this fuck stung the back of my head last week for the sin of taking out the trash.
Agreed! I got stung once for the sin of stopping to look at a cute rabbit on a trail. Little fucker just stung my hand for no reason as I stood there. Fuck those guys. And I love insects!
Was out for a week for work. Got back to my front door and got attacked by a nest that had been made while I was out. I relished nuking them.
I’ve been stung by wasps dozens of times. Never been stung by a bee. I say hello to bumble bees. Wasps get none such niceties from me. Except for tarantula hawks. Those guys are way too fucking big not to doff my hat when in presence.
We should make wasp eating robots.
Not only do they kill honeybees, they even attack each other. Wasp bed.
“Wasp bed” sounds like an inventive form of torture
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
r/honeyfuckers?
Extremely NSFW fyi
Good. Fuck honeybees, they’re invasive here.
I’m usually surrounded by paper wasps who don’t really seem to care unless you actively injure them. Have been bumped many times and they contonued on their way.
I’ve heard yellow jackets are usually the type to screw you over because they can.
(Un)fortunately, afaik yellow jackets are actually a pretty effective means of pest control for several crops because they more aggressively collect protein for their larvae.
because they more aggressively collect protein for their larvae.
Sorry, that’s me offering them a small speck of meat so they leave the rest of my plate alone.
Wasp extortion from the wasp mafia, La Vespa Nostra
🪙 have some Lemmy gold
Wow! There’s an emoji for everything.
I’ll just let wasps buzz around my face until they get bored. Unless you’re too near the nest they’re only going to sting you if you freak out and start flailing around.
Lol!! I can only imagine you work for Big Wasp ;P
You don’t even need to get to the flailing around, even just a simple 2-swipe shoo with your palm and they’ll quickly leave. Bees, hornets, yellow jackets, etc.
Dude I had a wasp flying around me while I was getting stuff out of my truck putting it in my storage unit two days ago. I hit that mother fucker twice knocked it away and it kept coming back for more. Fuck those assholes.
