A man is driving down a lonely road.
He ends up behind a hearse. Like most hearses it has a coffin in the back. But there is something odd about this coffin, the coffin seems to be moving, shaking, bouncing almost.
The driver continues following the hearse for a few miles, the coffin in the back starts bouncing more and more.
At a particularly sharp turn, the coffin flies out of the back of the hearse. The coffin keeps bouncing, bouncing towards the driver.
The driver throws it in reverse, but the coffin is matching his speed. He whips his car around and floors it, but the coffin is hot on his trail, bouncing down the road.
Eventually, at a small town intersection the driver loses control. He crashes into a light post. He stumbles out of his wrecked car, only to see the coffin still bouncing down the road towards him.
He rushes towards the nearest building, a pharmacy. He runs inside looking for a place to hide. The coffin crashes through the window and chases him down an aisle.
The man stumbles to the ground, the coffin is almost upon him. In a panic he reaches out for something, anything, to try and defend himself from this coffin barrelling down upon him.
AND NOW FOR THE PUNCHLINE
He grabs a bottle of cough syrup.
And that stopped the coffin.
I’m gunna say ‘and now for the punchline’ in all of my jokes now this is a revelation
I actually liked this one :)
This one’s a flashback for me, I heard a version of this when I was taking my teaching course as a phd student. I was assigned to sit in on a more senior student’s lecture to learn what good teaching looks like and he started telling this when it was very obvious no one was listening.
That made me smile. Thanks
The last two people who I told this joke to said “I hate you” after.
So thank you.
My wife misses me, but her aim is getting better HAHAHAHA
Maybe nobody wuvs him!
A dog entered into a tavern and said, ‘I cannot see anything. I shall open this one’
Fuck you Ashurbanipal
I was waiting for someone to post this
I tried joining a monastery once, but I had to quit because it was so raucous I could never get any sleep! Yup, 24/7, it was a real…Monk-y house
Knock knock
Come in. With vegeta it doesn’t matter who knocks
Unless its beerus 
Who’s there?
Dort_Owl
i thought they opened the door??? start the joke over im confused
Knock knock
who’s there???
clearly
clearly who
Dort_Owl who?
That’s not how owls talk it’s supposed to be “hoot hoot!” not “Dirt_Owl whoot whoot.”
Yes please come in I’ve been expecting you
Isreal
My love life, ayo folks tip your waiter.
say that again
but doctor, none of my jokes are funny
But doctor, I am sad dog
Butt doctor
Damn, that’s the big guns of bad jokes
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
All right, I’ve got a knock knock joke but I need you to go first. Ready when you are.
knock knock
Who’s there?
CommunistCuddlefish
Ooh, hug shaped comrade! Can I have a
?That’s sweet
Awwww. Cute cuddle.
CommunistCuddlefish who?
CommunistCuddlefish the Devourer of Fascists’ Dreams, She Who Dances Upon Reactionaries’ Graves, Disciple of the Deep Ones, Lover of the Downtrodden, Harbinger of Better Times to Come
But that’s way too long a name when translated from Cuttlefishian and there are still two levels of nuance missing that English text simply can’t capture, being a language designed by creatures who can’t change colors and only have 4 limbs, so I just go by my first name.
(I do not get this knock knock joke, please help)
A Roman walks into a bar. He raises two fingers and says: “five beers, please!”
(point at reasonable idea) hey guys look, haha right? it’s so unbelievable, hilarious!
“I hate my wife”. Clap
