So I’m new to all of this and I’ve got a lot of questions. I’ll probably be posting here a lot. :) My big question for y’all rn is what do you consider trustworthy resources to consult on trans topics? For news, I’m subscribed to TNN, but I could use some suggestions for websites or other information sources.
I’ve got a lot of the grooming aspects covered, but right now I’m also wanting to do specific reading about selecting affirming undergarments and everything that goes along with that.
Also, where else would you recommend I look for online community and any suggestions on finding IRL community (i’ve got some feelers out already, but more ideas would be helpful)?
Thanks!!!
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Hi there Mika~!
You mention having grooming figured out which is good, that is certainly one of the hardest aspects to get started with(I was definitely not the intended customer for Manscaped but I will forever be grateful for the help in discovering foil-razors and to help establish confidence I did not have with shaving in the past).
With regards to undergarments–This will vary by person, but personally? Bamboo Cool of whatever style you like(I just stick to bog standard, but they also have “boyshort,” style and otherwise) will serve you well. I have no stake in Bamboo Cool, I just genuinely love them and wear them everytime I go off to yonder workplace.
With communities, I would like to give a word of caution: There are a dime a dozen places that may seem good, but you need to watch yourself all the same. And even in the best of them, creeps like to…well, creep. I would personally avoid Discord, but Stoat(outside of its main server) has some good places if you are looking for RTC.
If you have a specific question about anything, I very well might have had experience to share with you. Not Trans myself but I fall under the Nonbinary umbrella as a Femcoded Maverique, and have been through the gauntlet mentally, physically and spiritually. If you have ever heard the song Propaganda by Crusher-P, that will give you a decent primer on my life.
Ask away if you wish, and you are doing fantastic! You are awesome!
Thanks so much for the advice, especially re: community. I’m not familiar with Stoat, I’ll probably just dwell here for now and soak up the info and good vibes. :)
Completely valid! I am just chilling here myself, I am so done with RTC. Valid way to chat with folks, but it is just too noisy and chaotic. I like just existing somewhere and having specific places to talk about whatever the OP is desiring. I was very active back on some old forums, especially with doing My Little Pony roleplays. A decade ago now, goodness me.
Hope you enjoy yourself, and like I said, I am always down to answer anything I can or share any experience/advice you may want. Cannot always promise an answer, but I can always promise a good try!
lol I did a cover of that song with teto sv forever ago
Teto our beloved! I would love to hear that if you wanted to drop a link, no worries if not. Mind Mirror is also a great primer speaking of Teto SynthV, haha.
here you go! its pretty bad I never got too into making covers lol
Aww, I think it came out otay! I can hear the roughness, but I listened to it all the way to the end. At least I could actually hear Teto(a song I love, Graduation, the vocals were so low), just some tuning quirks primarily. Thankies for the share-share!
for IRL community ive had the most success with climbing. its one of the more queer friendly sports and theres a lot of resting time when you can socialize. my favorite part is that its really not competitive the way other sports can be. youre only really competing against yourself. there will be people climbing at all skill levels and pretty much everyone is friendly and accepting. a few local climbing gyms around me have queer climbing meetups, and a couple are specifically for trans people, which has been great for meeting new people. ive met someone new pretty much every time ive gone.
i appreciate the suggestion (me: terrified of heights, lol). it is a really good suggestion and i like the idea of finding queer community around an activity. i’m actually really into birding and i’ve looked into it, but there are no feminist birding clubs near me either. i think i’m just going to have to eventually get out of my town for irl meetups. like many of us, i live in a deep red rural area. we just got our own pride celebration a few years ago - it’s lame, but it’s progress i guess.
tbh I have just kinda tried shit and kept what works when it comes to clothes lol, I like these enfemme gaffes I have and hanes bras are great IME
for groups and community try a library! we have a little queer group that meets a few times a months (I’ve yet to go cus life 😭)
good luck :) any questions I’m happy to try and answer
hi nikki! i appreciate your approach and since i usually just thrift stuff anyway, that’s probably what i’ll do. I’ll look into the clothes you mentioned. As far as the library goes, I volunteer at mine and afaik, no such group, but maybe i’ll look at a bigger area.
go for it! and hey if you have the means you could always make one :3
happy thrifting! dont be afraid to try something out of your comfort zone, can always pass it down/donate/sell it later on. I’ve found that a LOT of the clothes I got early on fit amazing now that I’m on hormones and have put on some weight that I needed.
baby trans phase is absolutely real, but after that i managed to pass well enough pre hrt by just tailoring my clothes to my body type and putting some makeup on. it only gets better from there
what do you consider trustworthy resources to consult on trans topics?
depends on which topic you’re interested in :)
for anything HRT-related, transfemscience.org is a fantastic resource.
for clothing/fashion-y stuff, i found this blog pretty useful as kind of a starting point to get an idea of what i should even be thinking about when looking for clothes and how to put together an outfit, but honestly nikki’s advice of just trying shit out is probably the only way to really get a feel for it. wandering through thrift stores and trying on anything that catches your eye is maybe something worth trying out.
other than that, i’m not really aware of much in terms of general “trans information” sources. reddit is (or used to be) a pretty good resource (e.g. i found answers to a lot of my early questions on r/MtF or r/asktransgender), but since the entire platform is rapidly going down the shitter i wouldn’t bet too hard on that. for the most part you’ll probably get better answers to any non-trivial question by actually asking people yourself, especially folks in your local community - they can do things in-person that we internet strangers cannot (e.g. accompanying you to the store), and might come with extra bonus information about people nearby (e.g. “oh, you’re looking for tucking underwear? i know sb who doesn’t need hers anymore, maybe she’ll be willing to pass it on”).
affirming undergarments
since you appear to be in the US, i’m gonna ditto nikki and recommend En Femme, out of all the brands of tucking panties i’ve tried they seem to be the best
where else would you recommend I look for online community and any suggestions on finding IRL community?
by far the most useful online communities will be ones with close ties to your local area. there’s probably some sort of regional discord or signal group or something for your area, which more likely than not is spread by word-of-mouth. (for example, a baby trans probably wouldn’t be able to show up to more than a few gatherings anywhere in the central/northeast switzerland area without getting invited to join the [NAME REDACTED] discord). other than that, if you’re on matrix then #gv-apply:chat.blahaj.zone might be a good place to start (more info).
as for finding IRL community:
- check out the websites of higher-level trans/queer organizations and advocacy groups for your broader area (like country/state level, bigger is better cause it’ll be easier to find. you’re looking for anything with an event calendar (example), or better yet, a list of lower-level organizations (at city/county level) so that you can find groups/meetups/events/whatever nearby (you’re looking for something like this).
- if you’re studying, your uni likely has some kind of queer student organization (although i guess YMMV depending on political climate)
- try looking into other feminist activist groups, they might have something for you! again an example from my area: probably the most significant recurring event for transfem people within 100km of where i live is technically run by a local branch of the national feminist strike collective, which has the unfortunate consequence of making it impossible to find via any “conventional” queer organization. that said you’ll probably have more luck finding this sort of thing through word-of-mouth once you’ve already got “boots on the ground” in some other queer space.
EDIT: that said, depending on where you are, you may have to resign yourself to having to travel rather far out of your way to find anything IRL. e.g. the area i live in is populated almost entirely by retired farmers, finance bros, and expat families who never leave their bubble, so i end up having to travel 45 minutes to the next major city in order to actually find any events.
EDIT2: added note about tucking undies
