Not an even an incel thing, this guy’s had sex, has had a long term girlfriend previously, but for some reason just doesn’t come to meetups with women there any more and even makes an excuse to leave if a woman he doesn’t know well arrives unexpectedly
Make too much sound. Not interested in the sound. Female acquired hence no motivation to tolerate the sound of these other ones. It’s like if a cow wanders into a room and is wondering why someone does not clean up after it or attends to it or is interested in it or in its contributions to the events. If there’s milk in the fridge then the cow is no longer relevant or interesting for the person. It is simply an undue burden to pay tolerance and attention into. But it’s just some one guy, don’t take it personal! There are plenty of cow lovers all over who love to listen to the moo.
Having sex and having a girlfriend doesn’t make a guy well adjusted. Example: so so so many misogynistic dads.
the point with bringing up sex + gf was mainly that he’d overcome this fear enough to get with someone before, separate from the misogyny thing.
Lots of men appear normal to other men but have a totally different behavior to women. Men dont even notice it when it is done right in front of them.
Incel is a novel, named phenomena which is just one collection of attitudes and relationships on a spectrum of patriarchy.
I get a lot of the guys who think I’m one of the guys and will just say unhinged shit around me. A lot of men are really good at hiding their latent misogyny.
imo one thing that it’s difficult for people who weren’t AMAB to understand is that it doesn’t matter how nice or relaxed or considerate or whatever a man seems, there’s still at least a 50% chance he will turn into a demon when triggered by like, a trans person existing or something.
Another telling one I randomly thought of recently- a good 80% of men wouldn’t even consider going to see a female stand-up.
I have mostly female friends and live with my wife and her mom. Only direct family I have is my sister, mom, and grandmother. So I’m basically always in the presence of women. I have a few guy friends who aren’t creeps, but it’s just kinda exhausting hanging out with most others.
I’ve found that at least some of the younger married ones are better, but it’s still 50/50 on them flipping when it’s just the two of us lol.
truth is, most of us are raised with gender segregation growing up and its VERY easy for us to not be able to adjust well into adulthood and prefer talking to the same gender only.
im the same way, ive dated but i feel very uncomfortable with the opposite gender. i feel like men are very brutal to women (socially and in terms of gender based violence) and women are very brutal to men (socially, sometimes violence as well). i wish it werent this way.
ive improved since becoming a communist bc the risk of violence is lower but its still a big ache i have
Hard to say, should probably just ask him. Maybe he’s not interested in your friend group or w/e in the presence of women because y’all change when women are around. Maybe he’s not self conscious around the guys but when a woman shows he’s anxious about his potential BO. Or maybe he doesn’t have time or patience for surprise guests, of any sex. I know my personal tolerance for social pleasantries and courtesies has cratered since COVID lockdown.
He might have hangups of various sorts that make him feel uncomfortable around women he doesn’t know well (which qualifies as not being well-adjusted, imo). Having had a girlfriend and sex does not have any bearing on that. For a more specific answer you’d probably need to ask him or someone who knows him better.
While he’s clearly not well adjusted, he’s not necessarily an incel (he could be, just not necessarily).
(which qualifies as not being well-adjusted, imo).
well otherwise well adjusted ig
Out of practice probably
fear and trust issues?
