Hi everyone, I wanted to share something with you all. Since today is Transfem Pride Day (at least here in Mexico, I don’t know if it’s something that happens in other parts of the world), I’ve been reflecting a lot on how much my life has changed lately, and I wanted to vent/celebrate a little bit with you guys. ✨

Coincidentally, a few days ago I hit my 11-month mark on HRT. 🏳️‍⚧️ If you had told me years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it. My whole life (in elementary, middle, high school, and college), transitioning felt like an escape fantasy. That thought of “moving to a new place and starting from scratch.” Living it today in reality feels a bit unreal, but beautifully real.

Sometimes, when self-doubt creeps in and I self-sabotage by thinking if this is just “a trend,” I start digging into my repressed memories. And boy, a ton of things and phrases I did or said come up that were not cis at all, lol. The truth was always there, I just wasn’t paying attention to it.

Here’s a quick recap of how things have been going since my last posts (which, due to certain technical glitches, aren’t as accessible anymore because I had to delete some social media accounts, but anyway):

✨ The Family and Work Front 😶‍🌫️

• With my dad: We got back in touch. I was much more firm about my name and the fact that he cannot keep calling me by masculine terms. He implied he’s going to try. We haven’t talked enough to know if he’s keeping it up, but at least the boundary has been set.

• At work: It’s been a pretty bittersweet experience. At first, I told a coworker that my boss took it quite well, but the day-to-day dynamic with the other men in the office has been a completely different story. For example, the worst part was that I publicly came out on a Friday, and on Monday they showed up calling me by my deadname and using masculine pronouns (one of them, by the way, formally apologized that same Monday for his confusion, which I truly appreciate; to this day I still really like him even though we don’t work together anymore </3).

And on top of that, another guy had the nerve to tell me that “I lacked the tact to explain it well,” as if there were a perfect manual on how to come out. He was literally telling me how I should handle my transition; it felt incredibly invasive, like he had the authority and all the knowledge on the matter.

• The friendship filter: Since I had been processing this for a while, my social circle shrank drastically (especially at work). Out of all those people, there are only three guys at work who I genuinely like and want to hang out with outside the office. With the rest… the treatment became weird. It changes depending on whether there are more women present or not, and it makes me uncomfortable. But I decided not to waste any more energy trying to change that; I’m simply not interested in maintaining those relationships anymore.

✨ Life in Fem (fuck fear!) 💅🔥

• Going out into the world: I’ve already been out publicly presenting as female and it’s gone pretty well. I used to get so much anxiety thinking people would say something to me, but I realized everyone is just minding their own business. Sure, there are looks (half curiosity, half confusion), but they are minimal. Even when I’m out in casual “guy” clothes, people read me as “she/her” most of the time… until I speak, of course, lol. My voice gives away the mystery, so I want to start voice training soon—not out of distress, but just because I want to.

• Timeline: I recently looked at photos of myself from before my transition (you can see the 2023 vs 2026 pictures in this post). Maybe I’m hallucinating a little bit, but I do notice my face looks different. I feel like I’m aging backward instead of forward, or at least my features look softer.

• To-do list: Makeup is still a mystery I haven’t mastered (I’ve made a couple of attempts where you can barely even tell I put anything on, lol), but I really want to start practicing more. I also desperately need a haircut; I’m stubborn about wanting bangs. If it looks bad, oh well, hair grows back.

• The pain that’s worth it: Laser sessions on my face still hurt, but not as much as the first time (I still remember how I cried during the session, and how when I walked out and my partner asked me how it went, I started crying again xd). I just mentalize myself with “it only hurts for a little bit and then it’s over,” because seeing less and less hair boosts my confidence in such an incredible way.

Pride is coming up and very soon a music festival too, and I’m already putting my outfits together with all the excitement in the world.

I’m still learning to navigate the bittersweet days (dysphoria still hits from time to time) and to let go of people who are no longer on my wavelength. But today, on Transfem Pride Day, it lifts me up to look back and know that I finally stopped hiding in fantasies to start living my own life. 💖🏳️‍⚧️✨