Hey everyone~~

oh no, it’s been two months since I’ve posted anything around here, when I was looking for help. Seems like I’m way less interested in being terminally online when I’m living my best life.

So just a quick catch up: Been wearing skirts out pretty much exclusively and am loving it. Strangers have been less derogatory than I expected, I can still count the vocally bad encounters on my fingers. Something I didn’t consider for a second in the anxiety around this I’ve had before - there’s also people who just treat me better, warmer than I’m used to. Mostly women, actually.

Thanks to your kind advice I took more control over my journey, which felt incredibly good, mostly. Was lucky enough to find a gynecologist who gave me a private prescription of my first estradiol gel following informed consent, more or less. Dosage is on the low end, planning on increasing next week and hopefully adding some blockers into the mix.

Also contacted some more therapists and found someone very kind, who sent me the written indication I need to get access to HRT through health care. It got lost in the mail, though, second attempt should be out tomorrow x).

Last but not least, started a new job (software engineering, of course), which is exhausting, but also a pretty nice opportunity. That old trade-off, time or money, pick one - yikes. Had some downers lately as well, dysphoria is kicking in really bad at times, but I’ll manage.

Well, today was a very special day. I went to the local registry office and officially changed my name and gender. It took three months of waiting and now I own an updated birth certificate with my new name and identity.

Didn’t really expect this, but I can hardy describe how good that felt - I’ve had literal tears of joy. I’m not sure I ever had these, from laughing maybe, but not from pure, unadulterated joy. Such an amazing relief, to finally be able to do the paperwork to get rid of that old name.

One of my best friends accompanied me today, he was really sweet. He gave me a small rag doll and a lighter, explained that’s deadname and I shall burn him and bury him somewhere. Absolutely gonna do that :>

Well, that’s all for now, just had to shout this out somewhere.

Thanks for being here and being yourselves <3

  • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    4·
    9 hours ago

    Beautiful news, Eskarina. So happy for you!

    Any relation to Eskarina Smith, born in the smithy of the village of Bad Ass on the Discworld?

  • Jul (they/she)@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    7·
    11 hours ago

    Congrats, I got all of mine finally changed a few months ago (except for the federal government stuff like passport and social security and all that since the US doesn’t allow it anymore).

    Took a long time and I’m still changing my name and gender in lots of places. It’s nice seeing it.

    • Bryllyg@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      5·
      10 hours ago

      Heya, the Social security office let me change my name (as of late April) but they wont change gender at this time. I am fairly certain the same is true for passports at this time but i havnt made that appt yet.

      • Jul (they/she)@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        2·
        9 hours ago

        Yeah that’s what I meant. This post was talking more about gender. I just mentioned I had Tl change both in so, so many places and still keep funding more ive forgotten about. LOL.

        I did get my name updated everywhere once my birth state finally got around to updating my birth certificate, but gender can’t be changed in any federal systems right now because of Trump’s executive order that the courts blocked, but the the corrupted Supreme Court let go into effect. They won’t even change it when I presented my corrected birth certificate which supposedly is what is what they say we have to go by.

        Sucks because it means I can’t actually risk travel and I was really looking forward to a vacation after years of ally PTO being spent on medical care. If my ID doesn’t match my appearance, much less the genitals they’ll see on the x-ray, I risk being turned away at the airport and/or foreign immigration and customs. At least domestically I can use my state enhanced ID which let’s you put whatever you want.

  • isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    13·
    13 hours ago

    Congrats!

    And be careful with that HRT doc. Remember, poor care is the rule, not the exception, of trans medicine. Take everything that your doc says with a grain of salt, trust but verify.

    For example, NEVER simply trust your doctor when they say “your levels are fine.” There are plenty of doctors out there that don’t actually respect your identity or transition. They don’t want to help you achieve the best results possible. They just view you as a deranged male, and they’ll humor your and try to prescribe you the minimum dose to prevent you from self-harm. That’s the only value they see in HRT; they don’t actually see having a good transition outcome as something worth pushing for. You and their goal may not be the same. Your levels can be fine for the doctor’s goal while completely inappropriate for your goal. Do not assume you and your doctor want the same thing.

    DO NOT simply trust the doctor when they say “your levels are fine.” Demand to see the actual numbers yourself. Your E levels should be testing at trough in the 200-300 range.

    • Eskarina@piefed.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      3·
      12 hours ago

      Solid advice, I’ll see him next week. Could imagine it to go both ways, though, trying not to get too anxious. On our first two meets he did give me access to what I wanted after all, so I hope that won’t change.

      I’m not trusting him yet, but mostly because, well, he didn’t inform me that much. I’d think informed consent is more extensive, but it might also be that he felt I’ve done some homework on my own.

  • Cass@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    13·
    13 hours ago

    He gave me a small rag doll and a lighter, explained that’s deadname and I shall burn him and bury him somewhere.

    That’s amazing, I’m taking notes

  • Of the Air (cele/celes)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    8·
    13 hours ago

    One of my best friends accompanied me today, he was really sweet. He gave me a small rag doll and a lighter, explained that’s deadname and I shall burn him and bury him somewhere. Absolutely gonna do that

    You could also, you know, give it to a fae 😉