So I’ve started on subconscious subcutaneous estrogen injections and so far so good. I seem to be ok with it mentally. No mood swings so far and I actually have some hope for the future. And I’ve been thinking more clearly, which is a double edged blade.
I have come to realise that I have no good friends who live locally, and the nearest gender queer friend is a 2 hour flight away and they’re non binary (not transfem). I really want to have at least one transfem friend in the town where I live, but I don’t. I know there are other trans women here because I see them out and about. But you can’t just go up to someone and say “hey I see you’re trans! I’ve just started estrogen! Let’s be friends!”. There are no LGBTQ+ clubs here and even if there were, I don’t have the time or money to go out.
Realistically I don’t even have time to maintain friendships, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by everything going on in my life and just want to speak to someone irl who understands. I’m not really depressed per se, but I also don’t want to become depressed because I don’t have anyone to talk to about my struggles.
I wish I had a good solution to that problem… Honestly, I think going up to people like “excuse me, sorry to bother you but I needed some guidance… Do you know your way around transitioning?” with an awkward smile might just work. And a “no” is easier to suggest than if you’d randomly ask for friendship. I almost once pulled this off, but I had people nearby who I didn’t want to know yet. 😩
It’s more that I just don’t want to randomly out people. I’m sure it doesn’t feel great. It’s like some random bitch coming up to you and saying “yeah you totes don’t pass 😘”
might be more acceptable if the person is wearing a trans pin or something