Just checking in with others, making sure everyone’s good and happy, or if anyone needs any help with anything.
Rewiring myself to be more outgoing, and accepting of everyone so why not start with Ottawa.
Couple weeks late, but because I feel like whining:
-Came back from a vacation to settle my head about an upcoming divorce. Trip was great, felt like I was in a great place to start doing the needful (apartment hunting, tagging stuff I want to take, etc.), only to have my last cat die my first day back. I’ve been unmotivated to do pretty much anything since. Just feeling pretty sad and lost again, which I know is normal but is annoying as fuck when I was full of piss and vinegar when my plane landed.
-Went to my local haunt last night, felt kinda off and had some minor annoyances pop up (shorted by a change/token machine, was cashed out after two beers without prompting [ended up just leaving, I wasn’t having a great time anyway]). Probably for the best, I’ve always felt weird about having ‘regular’ status at a bar and this made me feel like I should take a break from it, but still put a bit of a damper on me.
-Looking at gigs going on this weekend (I love live music, it’s been a source of comfort for a while), but real concerned that I might have a similar response. Winter might look real dark if that doesn’t do it for me anymore/at this stage.
Idk - I’m getting the sense I need to make some major, major changes in how I’m approaching things/the things I do for comfort/the kind of ‘me’ I’ve been for the past bit, but got a little stuck this week with the loss.
sorry you have to go through a breakup /divorce. They can for sure be extremely difficult mentally and physically for sure. I went though one at the ripe age of 23… I’ve done it all it feels, just very early.
on the plus side, it’s time for self growth, openmindness and life re-establishment. So many good things will be on the horizon for you and you don’t even realize them yet. There is no better time to then now to focus on yourself, improve and learn who you are and who you want to continue being. Ive recently discovered Stoic Philosophy and a few rules might help you in your redevelopment.
Rule 2: Only focus on what’s in your control
Rule 3: Don’t suffer imagined troubles
as for music, what’s your preferred genre? quickly looking at your history (sorry for being intrusive), you give me 90s/00s punk vibes. NOFX, rancid, Propagandhi and I can only guess hangouts at the the Dom downtown lol.
I’ve recently gotten into bluegrass, Doc Watson, Tony rice, Merle Watson, and most notably Billy strings. He triggered it with his rock/metal/bluegrass hybrid style for sure, but previously it was almost exclusively punk/ska bands, heavy rock and metal. I would highly recommend checking out Tinfoil and Turmoil too see the hybrid bluegrass rock/metal Billy strings did. So good, I would love to see him live but he’s only gone to Vancouver I believe.
I have been checking out the Red Bird venue on bank since they do bluegrass Wednesdays. Not too many venues in Ottawa focus on bluegrass.
I hope you get everything sorted, find happiness and get to see lots of good shows in the upcoming months/years. If youre ever feeling down, overwhelmed or just need to vent, hit me up. I’ll provide whatever assistance I can, or even buy you a beer at a bar over some live music. (this is my personal restructuring that I’ve been undertaking…)
Thanks man, I appreciate this :) Yep, might be tough now but I know there’s better things on the horizon. Really about rediscovering who I am, after a lot of time being focused on other people. That and it could always be worse - no one is at anyone’s throat, in the interest of an easier time with it, thank god.
Preferred genres - oh boy :). I do like 90s/00s punk, also a big fan of stoner metal, psych rock, prog, rockabilly, surf, funk, jazz, old school country, hip-hop (though not super deep into the hip-hop scene here), some electronica-adjacent stuff - basically, I’m willing to listen to most anything once. You’re half right - if I’m out at a gig, more likely than not I’m either at the Dom or House of Targ (the latter slightly more often).
If you’re into bluegrass Red Bird is obviously the best choice, but keep an eye on the show calendar for Irene’s, Rainbow, and Atomic Rooster as well (in that order). We’ve also got a pretty cool neo-bluegrass and adjacent festival in the valley - Black and Bluegrass. Haven’t been myself but have enjoyed some of the musicians that have gone there at other shows.
Appreciate the well wishes. May take you up on the venting and beer at some stage, otherwise if you see a kind of out-of-place looking dude with a toque/hat, big beard and (more often than not) House of Targ hoodie at a show, there’s a decent chance it’s me - come say hi :) Even if it’s not, that’s a good segway into making small talk with someone else, lol.
for me, I was stuck in a negative feedback loop. it was horrid. it’s been months like this. My emotions varied like our weather, everyday was different and could change in an instant. it was horrible and I knew it.
I ended up seeing my doctor, revised my meds, working on fixing my insomnia which was compounding all the other issues I was experiencing
things are now looking and feeling great. I am starting to put myself back out there one step at a time as I never fully recovered/re-entered society from the COVID lockdown.
I plan on volunteering my time to somewhere, I haven’t found anything yet. so if you have any recommendations for volunteering opportunities outside of normal bankers hours, please let me know. pets/animals would be key, but humans are probably where I should focus on to build my confidence and get back into that small talk which I’m bad at.
Thanks for being a great city and rarely letting me down (you don’t count octranspo… lol)
I’d love to hear how everyone is doing, and if you need any help with anything that I might be able to assist with. I know, online people scary. The offer is there though :)
I’ve been okay. Sleep hygiene has been bad, so I’ve been a bit down lately. My mood is incredibly dependent on sleep and I’ve been bad playing games or working on personal projects too late.
I’ve been working on a hard deadline work project and the spec has changed like 4 times in a week, so it’s been crazy. Thankfully I set up everything to be super flexible, so that’s made the revisions quick. I try and stop and thank past me for thinking ahead.
Funny enough, I’m doing the opposite as you, I’m quitting my meds but just need my major work stuff behind me before I start. I had a rough year least year, probably my worst year in a decade. This year things turned around a lot, so I’m in a good place overall. Talked with my doctor and they were fine with it.
On a lighter note: I listened to one kpop album and now 100% of my streaming recommendations are kpop. It’s weirdly good for backgroune since I don’t speak Korean.
Sleep is very important as I’ve recently come to realize after my complete melt down. My doctor introduced me to CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) which I’ll be researching and seeing how I can implement better routines and structure into my life.
Hopefully you can figure things out and get back into a better sleep routine. It’s also never fun having to constantly revise projects, we have 2 or 3 that are doing the same thing right now. makes everything downstream a tad chaotic but when everything gets signed and completed, it’s just a great feeling. Good thing you set it up for flexibility, that makes all the difference.
I don’t think I’ve ever listened to a Kpop song before, wouldn’t even know where to start. Hah, so long as the vibe is good the language shouldn’t matter. I’ve taken a keen interest in bluegrass, it really gets me pumped up for some reason. I can’t explain it other then it must be my inner ottawa valley redneck that comes out sometimes after a few too many drinks.
Hope everyone comes to fruition for you especially with getting off tlmedication, I can’t wait for that day myself as I’m not a fan of man-made drugs, but theya re clearly working for me so no complaints.
Have a great Halloween by the way Panda, enjoy all the spooks and treats!
