This is not a drill. The woke mob has taken Cracker Barrel.
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“I gave my life to Christ in the cracker barrel parking lot” is fucking god tier bro
Giving your life to Christ then: Living in a remote monastery in the mountains, asceticism, vows of abstinence, self flagellation, prayer, humility, studying the Bible, reflection, having a huge bald spot on purpose, abstaining from worldly affairs
Giving your life to Christ now: complaining on the internet, victim complex, using slurs, hating the gays, getting into politics, trying to become famous
I wish these dipshits would RETVRN to shutting the fuck up and leaving society.
It’s not that early modern Catholicism was great, but holy shit protestantism sucks so much ass.
Better yet, they should go Simeon Stylites mode and go live on top of a pillar, slowly wasting away.
You claim to have given your life to Christ in a cracker barrel parking lot, yet you are still alive. Curious
it’s got the same cadence as those “the mothman ate my ass at a buc-ee’s” bumper stickers
Christ was like
”I wish people would stop summoning me this way - so fucking cringe”This should be one of the taglines at the top of the front page
I gave my life to Christ in the Cracker Barrel parking lot.
New sentence!
Imagine that’s where you have your spiritual awakening
A fucking parking lot for a terrible store that’s also a bad restaurant
How are we being beaten by these freaks?
These freaks are the end result of decades of anti-communist policy
These are the perfect USAans
Christian Conservative Consumers
Of course they’re going to be in charge, the system was made for them
Kkkristian kkkonservative kkkonsumers
I kkkonsidered it, but kkkhose to use some takkkt
And let’s be real, the first two largely exist to put a sheen of divinity and philosophy on the last one.
I think there just are people out there who genuinely enjoy this vapid lifestyle. Like we could create a star trek utopia and there’d still be a minority of people grumbling in their free apartment that there isn’t an ugly neon parking lot with a restaurant attached that they can buy awful burgers in, instead they have to eat good vegan burgers from their damn replicator!
joke police
Benjamin Sisko, who for the non Trekkies, is literally the guy described above by SBTO
Nah he made good food.
These people want disgusting slop that doesn’t have any complex flavors that will confuse them.
i wouldn’t mind working in the creole restaurant in the commune
There seems to be a lot of artisanal food production in the Federation, the Picard family makes wine, Boimler makes raisins, Picard brings actual caviar on the Enterprise.
Technically all food from a replicator is vegan.
Isn’t shit an animal product? Lol
I don’t get it.
a glib comment about vegans abstaining from all animal products.
There is a Talking Heads song about this type of person: Nothing But Flowers (CW:Meat)
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Billions of dollars of funding from the people who are actually beating us goes into every aspect of society to produce people like this.
I was raised in the pentecostal church in Florida. That is, in fact, not a new sentence lol
How do we make taglines happen
I like to imagine the mods just use foeum search for “tagline” and pick out their favorites, but the process is shrouded in secrecy
It’s a lot like picking a new pope
Juan Guaido declared interim mod for picking new site taglines at hexbeanis.io.gov
New tagline just dropped.
Reality is self-parody-ing
New hot country single.
I think, “I gave my life to Christ in a Cracker Barrel parking lot” is very funny.
It really does sound so thirsty when they say shit like that.
I’ve accepted Jesus inside me in a Dave & Buster’s bathroom
I have felt the power of the lord behind a Denny’s
I knelt before my Lord next to the salad bar at Fuddruckers
I first received the Lord’s flesh at the golden corral buffet
They paved paradise so I could give my life to Christ in a Cracker Barrel Parking lot
I devoted my life to the study of the scripture, humility, abstinence and took a vow of poverty for 30 minutes in the parking lot of a Cracker Barrel
Giving my life to christ in a cracker barrel parking lot rn
Giving your life to christ in a parking lot is the most amerikkkan thing I’ve ever seen.
This week.
I find it really funny that Americans are so car-brained that a chain restaurant’s parking lot can be the place for a Damascine conversion.
Wealth is wasted on the wealthy.
If I had their money I’d be living in a cozy Scottish townhouse reading a book and cuddling with my partner. But American porks sometimes CHOOSE to live the consoomerist lifestyle they are forcing onto poor people.
Well Paul did lose his mind on a road
If Paul was American it would’ve been on a 12-lane stroad on his way to harass a Christian fast food worker.
I’d go to cracker barrel if this was their logo. Lol
CCC[P]racker Barrel
I enjoyed the family friendly atmosphere of Cracker Barrel. The cotton gin they used as an ice bucket for glass bottle sugarcane sodas was great. I liked the old plantation photos on the walls. I loved seeing good families enjoy massa’s rocking chairs on the front porch. But this…I don’t know. I think if they remove the noose that you tug on to summon wait staff, I might just have to stop going. It was bad enough when they started selling YANKEE candles in the general store.
Don’t worry about the noose, they’ve trained their waiters to respond to “boy”
I’m taking my whole Polycule to the Cracker Barrel and we’re gonna make out on the big rocking chairs
noooo that’s granpappy’s chair!
Yeah I know, I fucked him in this chair!
it’s way too easy to get chuds all riled up… like shooting fish in a cracker barrel
It’s They/Them Barrel now
Cracker Barrel became BIPOC Barrel
They removed rhe cracker and the barrel
Shares of Cracker Barrel fell $4.22, or 7.2%, to $54.80 in Thursday trading, shedding $94 million in market value. The stock had dipped to a low of $50.27 earlier in the day, representing a loss of almost $200 billion in its capitalization.
It’s all literally just vibes.
($200 Billion valuation)
I won’t believe any of this “woke Barrel” shit until Cracker Barrel opens a location in California. As I understood it, they were avoiding CA because of its civil liberties.
Outside CA, you can find a CB at every other exit off the highway, it seems like. More so in the South but they seem to operate everywhere else but CA.
Before I’m willing to even entertain the notion that CB has “gone woke,” I’m gonna need to see them open a few locations in the Golden State.
I don’t much care either way. They make good breakfast food, but so do I. The plumber doesn’t call a plumber and pay them to do what he can do himself, so why should I go to Cracker Barrel? Same reason I don’t go to burger places. I can, in fact — or at least, in my opinion, make a better burger than they can. So, firstly, I don’t use American cheese, I use pepper jack. Better flavor, melts just as good, costs a little bit more, but worth it for my burger. Second, I make my burgers thicker. When I eat out it’s to get food I don’t know how to make or can’t make as well.
If it was going woke, I’d take it as a personal insult to my commie ass.
How fucking dare the absolutely mediocre fashslop think I’m interested in their All-AmericanTM good ol’ boyMoarTM slopNeedsMoarTM?
BYRON DONALDS gave his LIFE to CHRIST in the Cracker Barrel parking lot.
I’m not going out of my way to defend the Cracker Barrel because they’re just desperate for more revenue and know their usual clientele are dying by the cracker barrel full
I agree that it’s “woke”. They slapped on a pride label and did jack shit to help anyone. They put up a stand and also claim they didn’t discriminate against LGBT job applicants, which I’m gonna doubt.
Oh please tell me Honkey Keg and Bleachskin Cask are ok
