Or, the momma never called the doctor in the first place. A real doctor would have said “talk to my nurse first. Then come in for expensive tests. Then I need to refer you to my specialist friend.”

Or, slightly less cynically, the doctor would have said “bring the monkey who bumped his head to urgent care and we’ll check for concussion.”

“No more monkeys jumping on the bed” sounds like straight up mom stuff.

Left a month ago. It took the November election to move my whole family. Life is good but I still can’t stop doomscrolling US news and mourning in silence.

One thing’s for sure: a chicken slapped at 3726 mph won’t be very tasty. Or look too good.

Are you sure? The numbers in the tweet reddit post talk about total mass and heat capacity. So I think that means the entire bulk has that average temperature.

The chicken has to exceed the boiling point of water for it to be cooked? Unless we’re making chicken caramels, I don’t think so.

Doing some math, I think it works out to 6,242 slaps or a single slap at 1,939 mph. Much more attainable.

https://copypastatext.com/ask-the-gym-receptionist-if-their-gym-is-based-or-cringe/

It’s apparently an AI-generated copypasta that is based word for word on an actual 4chan post about a gym being based or cringe, but the AI just replaced based with creepy and cringe with wet.