AstroStelar [he/him]

20 y/o, autistic, AroAce, Marxist with Mega Man characteristics (also Kirby)

  • 17 Posts
  • 259 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: March 23rd, 2024

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  • I’m hesitant about spending money too. For me I think it comes down to four things:

    • What if I need this money for something important down the line?
    • What if I find out later I want to buy/do something more than the thing I’m considering now?
    • I also feel bad about causing too much waste for ethical reasons (exploitation of people and planet) and philosophical reasons (not being a slave to consoomerism, valuing the things I already have)
    • Until recently my only other source of money was my parents, who are lower-middle income… I think? So I didn’t want to ask them to buy things for me too often.

  • I also struggle with this mentality. When I do introspection, I find the following thought patterns:

    • Not wanting a hassle, as you mentioned (risk aversion, lack of self-confidence)
    • Constant messaging by society and parents that I can be taken advantage of and to mind my own business (individualism).
    • Knowing that someone or a cause needs much more help than I can provide, like you also said, so any amount of help I give feels like a pittance and I feel guilty. (“letting perfect be the enemy of good”)
    • Knowing that many people or causes need money but I can’t help all, so any choice I make feels random or biased to the most sympathetic.
    • Getting a sense that the only moral thing to do then is to give up my relatively well-off existence to charity, mutual aid etc. and me not wanting to keep money for myself is selfish and “treatler-brained”.
    • Rather than accept the imperfect, I avoid the matter altogether and try excuses like: “I don’t have cash on me right now, sorry”




  • I can only imagine how great that must have felt. As a kid I didn’t like the beach at all, I found the sand annoying (anakin-padme-1) and it felt like a body show, which felt awkward and made me feel worse over how pale and skinny I am. And that’s without any gender anxiety.

    But in recent years I have nurtured a wish that my life and self-esteem improves to the point that I can have an experience like this too. It’s become a kind of final proof of how much I would have grown as a person.