I posted this a long time ago. Got sent Cody’s Labs list, and it was very different. He has licked so many…

The goat
Good luck finding enough Astatine to lick. It’s the rarest naturally-occurring element on earth. It’s estimated there is less than 30 grams in earth’s crust at any given time.
Did anyone ever find any?
Yes, but we still don’t know its bulk properties.
how can something be ‘maybe not a good idea’ on a lickability scale but also be used as a medication?
Well, you saw that uranium is colored yellow so…
Yeah maybe mixing up medicines and giving 11 year old me iodine tincture to drink wasn’t the best move
I’m glad someone listened to me a couple years back. The first comment I ever made on Lemmy was on the original version of this, pointing out that Magnesium was DEFINITELY fine to lick.
If it’s got a nice oxide layer on the outside, fine. Otherwise it’s fairly reactive.
The oxide layer forms within seconds, like aluminium and sodium (the two elements surrounding it), and even if you scraped it off and stuck it on your tongue, it isn’t going to react quickly enough to do you any damage. It will probably taste slightly bitter, like licking baking soda. I have some downstairs. Shall I test it and take a video of the results?
If you can get your tongue inside the machinery they use at Lawrence Livermore to create a split-second instance of some rare Earth actinide, you deserve to lick it.
Na: bad. Cl: bad. NaCl: amazing!
Compare XKCD.

I LOVE the “you are here”
I would have loved this in school.
It’s really funny, yesterday I saw a dude walk around with a T-shirt with exactly this periodic table and thought it was hilarious and now I find this
Did you lick him?
Everything that isn’t green should be ‘definitely not’ and several green ones are questionable
The particular form the element is in also matters a lot.
Take helium, for example. Is it really possible to ‘lick’ a gas? I’d say it’s not. You could lick liquid helium, though … and you really shouldn’t, unless you enjoy severe frostbite on your tongue.
What? No. The Leidenfrost effect would apply. You could pour a few milliliters of liquid helium over your tongue and it would boil on contact. You just need to make sure to minimize total contact time.
if i stick my tongue out i would probably consider that as licking air, so you would just have to be submerged in that gas for a long enough time to lick it
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… How exactly would you lick hydrogen? Or helium for yhsy matter…
- Fill a balloon with the gas
- Stick your tongue in the balloon sphincter
- Wiggle your tongue
- Reconsider the decisions you’ve made that led your life to this point
New fetish unlocked, but still hidden behind balloon sphincter.
Just go slow and keep it wet. It might take some time to build up your tongue strength and loosen up the opening, but I believe in you. Go forth and achieve your dreams.
Thanks for believing in me :D
Tounguepunching the gas sphincter, oh joy
- Reconsider the decisions you’ve made that led your life to this point
OR
New kink unlocked
If that moment of introspection concludes with you being happy with your path and current situation, then who am I to judge. Carry on with your ballonilingus and be happy.
Carry on with your ballonilingus and be happy.
That’s gotta be a sentence no one has ever said before.
And, dare we hope, never again
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I wouldn’t advise licking calciums:
The chemistry of calcium is that of a typical heavy alkaline earth metal. For example, calcium spontaneously reacts with water more quickly than magnesium but less quickly than strontium to produce calcium hydroxide and hydrogen gas. It also reacts with the oxygen and nitrogen in air to form a mixture of calcium oxide and calcium nitride.[14] When finely divided, it spontaneously burns in air to produce the nitride. Bulk calcium is less reactive: it quickly forms a hydration coating in moist air, but below 30% relative humidity it may be stored indefinitely at room temperature.[15]
Because calcium reacts exothermically with water and acids, calcium metal coming into contact with bodily moisture results in severe corrosive irritation.[59] When swallowed, calcium metal has the same effect on the mouth, oesophagus, and stomach, and can be fatal.[46] However, long-term exposure is not known to have distinct adverse effects.[59]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calcium
Because of vigorous reaction of quicklime with water, quicklime causes severe irritation when inhaled or placed in contact with moist skin or eyes.
So… I should lick it fast and then hide from the effects under a table?
Lick it then chug some vinegar
Some of the purple ones have a time limit to lick them before you die that starts once you enter the room they are kept. You’ll still die after licking them, but you would at least have licked it if you’re quick.
So those are “yes, but hurry”?
jots down in notebook
Many can’t be “kept” on the time scale of licking. And for some, the confirmed number of atoms ever existing is too low for any sensation or measurable radiation exposure during their violent but tiny decay. But if the particle accelerator beam, the only place they ever existed, crossed your head… we unfortunately know what happens https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatoli_Bugorski#Accident
Okay if you think licking lead and uranium is maybe not a good idea then I think you need to reevaluate your decision making skills.
Thank you, I came here to see if it was at least somewhat safe to lick uranium, I don’t have access to it but if I ever did I wouldve tried because that sounds like a badass story to tell at a bar/party
Definitely don’t do it.
I wouldn’t lick lead as a hobby, but a quick one wouldn’t be the end of things.
Lead lolly, yellow lolly
This is a joke by Tom Scott in one of the best Citation Needed episodes.
I appreciate what you are trying to share, so this is just me venting.
I hate you tube!

Having to sign in is annoying. Having the absolute LIE that it has anything to do with protecting the community is infuriating.
I try and never use youtube, then I am reminded why. Yes I know how to use the plethora of alternative front ends, but I simply dont want to play the game.
Technically, Piped is not just a frontend… How about setting up a redirect? I used to provide links to piped.video like the annoying bot but then I realized it’s decentralized and everyone using Piped probably has a redirect (or link-handling app) set up to their preferred instance.
BTW, there’s an Internet Archive mirror of the video available as a plain file or in their online player The reference is at 9:57 but the whole thing is worth it.
Thanks so much. A solution was far more then expected, thats really nice of you.
So you’re saying that it’s a GREAT idea?
You know what, sure, why the hell not. I’ll see you on the Darwin Awards lol
The long-lived isotopes of uranium are about as dangerous as lead, actually: heavy metal poisoning is the overwhelming concern. Same as bismuth, which is effectively stable and incorrectly marked “Probably fine”.
You can totally lick Sodium! Its natures poprocks!
Ok who gave the goat internet access?
In theory, if you dry enough your tongue, you can lick sodium, i wouldn’t keep it on my tongue longer tha 0.5s tho
well, i wouldn’t keep it on my tongue at all tbf
I ate a banana and now I have summer teeth













