Translation: greedy people want to greed harder.

Scientists: Well, this will cool the planet but it will also reduce crop yields and slow photosynthetic carbon sequestration.

Politicians: Okay, do it, but don’t tell anyone or they’ll freak out and blame me.

Malicious compliance is less funny when it’s done by rich corporate assholes.

Clovers are far superior to grass. We had them mixed in pretty thoroughly growing up on our brand new property with the shittiest clay dirt imaginable. The farmland it all replaced was undoubtedly packaged and sold somewhere else.

We already knew she was a crazy idiot, there’s no logical explanation for anything that takes around in her drug-scorched brain.

I saw an analysis of cults that have turned into religions - that is, outlived their founder. There’s some very specific criteria that need to be met in order for it to endure, must critically it needs a charismatic reformer/organizer to take over when the founder dies.

It’s said that every sign exists because multiple people were too stupid for it to remain absent.

So exactly how many people tried to eat the pizza without opening the box first?

That’s why it looks like it’s for diabetus.

I should have seen that coming. Points for you.

More where that came from lol!

-Momma Quokka

And that’s when old Charlie Brown said fuck it and became a gopnik.

Rebrand it the Trump Ring and sell it to MAGA for $300.

Parenthood.

Man in the Moon: Fine, great, we took the picture. Y’all mind getting off of me now? All my moon blood is rushing to the wrong point.

Looks like somebody in Germany wasn’t paying attention in “why Nazis are bad” class.

It even a smarter Republican who actually took econ 101 in college.

That’s the dream baby.