“Care about others? Fuck that give me a crab. I swim alone and live in a hole and that’s the way I like it.”

“Climate change? Motherfucker why would I give a shit about anything that takes longer than my natural lifespan of like three or four years? Give me another crab.”

“You saying I can’t breath air? The fuck I say about telling me I can’t do stuff, watch this, I’m gonna breath all the air and find where you’re keeping all those tasty crabs you won’t give me… *gasping for breath unsuccessfully* don’t fucking touch me *chomp chomp chomp*”