37 years young. Tomorrow, I’m finally asking my home physician to send me to a gender identity clinic to assess whether I have dysphoria according to my country’s standards and policies. If my physician does send me there, then within a few years I might get the much needed diagnosis and then I will finally be eligible for HRT.

MEANWHILE.

I have made a list of things that I can start exploring in order to feel more comfortable with the woman within. Gosh… Please excuse my phrasing. I’m so effing closeted. 😅

  • Hair removal - booked!!! Going on the 27th.

  • Perfumes - planned!!! Trying some out tomorrow.

  • Nails - don’t even know where to start. I have NEVER even given these babies a second’s thought. 😭

  • Wigs - I have no hair. If and when I get diagnosed, the state will provide a certain amount every year to buy wigs and they will refer me to a professional wig maker as part of the treatment for dysphoria.

  • Makeup - no idea where to start. Is there ANY other way than watching YouTube tutorials? Although I totally accept that this probably is the most effective way.

  • Clothes - am I just supposed to try on everything I find pretty? 😅🩷🩵🤍

  • Janx@piefed.socialEnglish
    6·
    10 days ago

    Cis-het dude here, so I hope I’m allowed to comment. All I want to say is I love your positivity. 37 is late in life to find out who you are, but it’s better than 40, better than 65, better than 80… Now go out there and live your best life!

    • printf("%s", name);@piefed.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      3·
      10 days ago

      Thank you. My age is one of my biggest hurdles when it comes to my mental health, so honestly, this is kind of triggering. But I of course understand what you meant and I’m grateful for the encouragement!!! 🩵

      I have always known how I want to behave, talk, look and feel. But I grew up in such a cisnormative context that I internalized the mantra, “something’s wrong with me”. My mental health issues didn’t help either: I had no sense of self worth whatsoever. 💔

      But I am here now. And I believe in my future. 🩷