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If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
Its been rough but its my own doing. Im so anxious about coming out and its been hard to deal with this week. Also been doubting myself alot, my brain has a way of cutting deep. This week it was trying to convince me that im fake, like i get these extra rough feelings being a “cis straight white male” before that that voice tries to tell me i just want a group to belong too. That im not really this and just looking to be a minority or my own story of oppression.
Its awful, awful ,awful stuff to think about, i hate it. But i also know its not the truth. Decades of these feelings, noone could ever convince me that its not what it is.
Also, might be the only one, but i HATE the idea of coming out to everyone. I feel like if you come over to my place often enough then sure ill have a talk with you. But if i hardly see you? Naw youll find out whenever you see me, im not putting myself through the anxiety and pressure of coming out to absolutely everyone lol
So meh week, some good, mostly bad. Still here still kicking still love you all! Nobody is allowed to Leave i want you all right here where you belong 🥰
Really really recommend the book “am I trans enough” by Alo Johnston (tl:dr yes).
Ill look into that for sure! Thanks ☺️
Girly, you’re going to make me cry! I’m soooooo sorry to hear you had such a bad week. I think we all have those thoughts and feelings sometimes, I know I do. I’ve question myself every day about this, even when I’m girlmoding and super happy about it. I’ve come out to the people I have because I know them so well and trust them implicitly.
They are my family, blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb. There are still a bunch of people in that group who I’m still terrified of telling. I’ll likely never tell any of my relatives save one, who happens to be nonbinary and helped me with my makeup years ago.
In my opinion, you’ve already come out to the most important people: us, your wife, and most importantly yourself. If it takes a little more time for the rest of the world that’s okay. If you set yourself a deadline, maybe lower the requirements of that deadline.
You already went out in nature, risked being seen, that’s a huge step! Maybe start by going to a different city or part of town and going to a movie, nice and safe and dark. I dunno, that’s just my spaghetti on the wall.
Thank you for sharing! We want to be here for you! It helps all of us!
Remember, everyday is a beautiful day, as long as you decide it is, regardless of the weather
Love you
♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡
Yeah! Honestly going somewhere a little away from where i live does help. I think my biggest issue is people who know of me be4 but dont actually know me if that makes sense (think cashiers and the like). It doesnt even make sense to me why i would care at all but those people scare me the most. Its stupid lol
That and my ex. To come out to her would be catastrophically terrifying. I think i might actually have a heart attack if/when that happens lol
Edit: forgot love you too girl! You the best as always ❤️