Detective. Parmesan. Do you know who I am?

Yes Mr Mozarella. I know who you are.

Listen. Parm. Do you mind if I call you Parm? Look. I don’t know what Colby told you. He’s a sweet kid, but a little… unsophisticated. Do you know what I mean? I’m worried he did not explain the fullness of the situation or impress upon you its gravity.

All due respect Mozarella, but this is bullshit. The Swiss are dead. For good. I saw them with my own eyes, sliced and riddled with holes. Honestly I wasn’t impressed, I thought they were mild.

Parmesan Parmigiano, you always were a hard bastard. Must be that Friesian milk in your veins. I know you were there and I know what you saw, because I was the trigger-man.

I remember.

You were just the wheel man.

… Get to the point.

We were both there that night so you understand that I have nothing to gain and, reputationally, everything to lose, by the return of the Swiss. So when I tell you they are back you must understand, you have no choice but to believe me and I have no reason to lie. This is no cheese dream, Detective, they’ve come to collect on their debts and they took your son Reggiano. Walked right into my refrigerator while we were discussing repayment terms on his loan and just took him.

That’s not what Jack said. Jac-

Jack Colby is a flavourless piece of shit who’ll work with anyone and stands for nothing! I don’t even know why he said that! I told him to call you to give you the straight dope. You and I go way back. Who the fuck are you going to believe?

We’re wasting time anyway, I’ll figure this thing out sooner or later but if those Swiss bastards have my son then I guess I can’t just leave him to the sick fucks. He was a hard kid to raise. we used to get along…

Hey! Parm. Snap the fuck out of it. I’ve got a guy coming to town to help us out, Cheddar. He’s a bit of a hard man, real sharp. Old head like you. One of my boys is picking him up at the train station this afternoon.

Why are you helping me?

Hey, what are friends for?

I dunno Moz. You’ve always been a slippery son of a bitch. I know you’re playing me. I just don’t know how…