I want to tell everyone about my love for atlassian products and jira align and confluence ooohh ohhohooh i love them so much im an enthusiast i love making burndown charts ohohoohoh im so FUCKING ALIGNED RIGHT NOW oooh give me my quarterly sprint reports i neeeeeeeed to know how many tickets im carrying over 
WOW omg CONFLUENCE you really wis my wig IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN
ohoohohohoohohoo sprint ceremony to the grave baaabbyyyyeeeeeeeee OHOOHOHOHOHOHO
My sister in law is getting fired from their C-suite in a few months, and I can’t stop laughing. She’s been responsible for thousands of people there losing their jobs in the interest of quarterly profits, and suddenly thinks it’s unfair when it happens to her. She’s one of the most sickeningly pro-capitalist workers I’ve ever met. Everything she talks about is either money or status.