Oh wow you just triggered a memory of mine.

I have a memory clear as a sterling bell of the first time learning that the word “fuck” was a synonym for “sex.” I’d already heard some variations of the cuss word such as “fuckers” and that got me thinking: “what do they call the other ones? The fuckees?” I was like 8 years old.

I thought about that later when I learned about Roman homosexuality and how you were masculine if you were a ‘fucker’ and you were feminine if you were a ‘fuckee.’ It sorta became my private joke to use this word, but in a funny way, it sorta braced me for dom/top/sub/bottom dynamics.

I must stress I was a child when I came up with this rubric. But I still think about it sometimes when the subject of dom and sub come up. And the word “fuckee” makes me laugh.