Since the start of puberty I shut myself in my room, mostly only to come out for school/work and for visiting my father every second weekend because my parents are divorced.

A bit over two years ago I realized I was trans, but I could still live like that, being in my room most of the time. After starting HRT I began to feel lonely and feeling the need for friends, which I didn’t feel before.

Now, at around three months after starting HRT I feel like I die if I continue to not have any social contacts and already harmed myself because of the loneliness. At least everyone who knows me is supportive and I managed to talk to my mother that we do more together like walking, but it didn’t really help with the loneliness.

I have no idea how to make friends. I don’t talk much, partly because I hate my voice, but also because it is difficult for me to find words and things to talk about and I can’t say anything when I am in a group of more than a few people.

I don’t really expect helpful advice here but anything would be appreciated. I mostly just wanted to write that all down.