I also find a lot of cis males that find out I’m in a poly relationship, by their reactions think poly is like having a “real” partner and then a bit on the side that’s somehow sanctioned by your real partner. “Allowed cheating”.
But that’s not it at all, at least my little polycule. It’s instead like how a family exists. Everybody chips in and instead of having 2 people, each having to prop up half the relationship, it’s 3 people and you each prop up a third of the relationship. It’s not harder, it’s easier. It’s not more complex, it’s simpler. More people, more love, more support. We’re all friends, if I’m busy for whatever reason, the other partners can help out each other.
I find strictly monogamous partners are often jealously guarded that adding an extra person into the relationship will result in them losing something tangible as if love and attention are material and finite things… Kind of in the same way that an only child in a family worries that a new child will somehow result in their parent’s loving them less, when often it actually means that there’s MORE love to go around.
Anyhow, hopefully that little explanation helps answer a bit of your confusion.
I also find a lot of cis males that find out I’m in a poly relationship, by their reactions think poly is like having a “real” partner and then a bit on the side that’s somehow sanctioned by your real partner. “Allowed cheating”.
But that’s not it at all, at least my little polycule. It’s instead like how a family exists. Everybody chips in and instead of having 2 people, each having to prop up half the relationship, it’s 3 people and you each prop up a third of the relationship. It’s not harder, it’s easier. It’s not more complex, it’s simpler. More people, more love, more support. We’re all friends, if I’m busy for whatever reason, the other partners can help out each other.
I find strictly monogamous partners are often jealously guarded that adding an extra person into the relationship will result in them losing something tangible as if love and attention are material and finite things… Kind of in the same way that an only child in a family worries that a new child will somehow result in their parent’s loving them less, when often it actually means that there’s MORE love to go around.
Anyhow, hopefully that little explanation helps answer a bit of your confusion.