Its been a long time since i felt heartache this bad.
My solution was just to be around people. The mental spiral just stopped when I had company.
Also do know that the pain does end. I had just horrible feelings when my ex dumped me. I argued for hundreds of hours in my head with her, which obviously is pointless. Now, I couldn’t put myself in that headspace if I tried. Your brain does move on. Just getting there is tough.
Echoing all these things. Also being around people, or at the very least talking with friends over text or whatever, has kept me from doing impulsive stuff that would have made situations worse when going through heartbreak. So doubly recommend not shutting down socially, as best you can.
Yeah seconding this. Occupy your mind until you have enough space to start moving on from it. Don’t do what I did and isolate for years over a break up and self-medicate the pain away. It might sound trite, but in time you will move on, it’s just right now you need help to get there.
I’m sorry you’re going through it.
First I’ll say that I think it’s important to appreciate that you did have a good relationship (I’m assuming, since you’re sad about it ending.) Most things don’t last forever, but they bring joy while they’re present and you had a temporary experience of a relationship that many people never will. Cherish that enriching joy, and be thankful you got to experience it.
The thing I heard when I was in a similar place that helped the most sounds can sound kind of harsh so if you’re not ready to read that kind of thing stop here.
If you broke up, that’s good, because if you broke up that means it definitionally wasn’t going to last. And if it wasn’t going to last it’s probably best for you to break up so you can find someone who you will go the distance with.
I hope you find peace with this as soon as you can comrade. Good luck going through it.
Big piece of advice I would give is: pick up a new hobby. If you still enjoy your old/current hobby that’s fine but during heartbreaks/breakups I found myself spiraling lot because they were fun things I did either with them or at least while we were together.
New hobbies necessitate new neural pathways which is a big help in getting shit off your mind.
gonna second this - simply doing stuff plus time is the only way anything like this gets “better” ime
I’m sorry you’re hurting :(
Heartache can take many shapes - what does yours specifically look like? What feelings are you struggling with?
Solidarity, comrade
It’s hard I’ve been there multiple times. Best advice I can give is no matter how hard it feels don’t stop taking care of yourself. Continue to do what you love, exercise in some way and get your blood flowing, and do not isolate yourself. It’s easy to fall deep into the shits when you feel numb/apathetic but I promise you that will only send you deeper.
You’re worthy of love and you’re worthy of proper care!
It hurts a lot, and that pain is normal and expected. If it didn’t hurt, something would be wrong. Be with people, and remember time heals wounds.
watch this nakey jakey video and have a little laugh/cry
the shitty thing is, as with all grief, it mostly just takes time. there’s good advice in this thread that you should definitely take, but sometimes you’re not gonna feel like going out or doing a new hobby or meeting new people, and that’s ok too. it’s ok to let yourself feel like shit as well, that’s part of getting through it.
so yeah, pick up a new hobby, start exercising, put yourself out there for sure. but also, if you need to take a night to kill a pizza by yourself while watching a sad movie that’s totally normal. you just gotta grieve, it looks different for everyone
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
time is the only cure i’m afraid.
different strokes for different folks and all but for me it helped to try to forget about them entirely - i removed or avoided any reminders in my life and focused on new friends and interests - eventually you reach a point where you realise you haven’t thought about them for days, then it becomes weeks then months and so on
