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CthulhusIntern [he/him]@hexbear.net to askchapo@hexbear.netEnglish · 8か月前

The FBI has no file on us. But it turns out, another federal government department has extensive files. Which would be the worst?

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The FBI has no file on us. But it turns out, another federal government department has extensive files. Which would be the worst?

CthulhusIntern [he/him]@hexbear.net to askchapo@hexbear.netEnglish · 8か月前
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  • buh [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    EPA is investigating us for air pollution (excessive farting)

    • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      doggirl-sweat

    • Parsani [love/loves, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      C/badposting is a EPA honey pot

    • William_Nilliam [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      brak left-arrow unrepentant

  • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    It’s the student loan department because this site is full of millennials

  • Posadas [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    IRS

    • Lemmygradwontallowme [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      Yeah, I said that first…

  • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    I fear only two is government institutions. Treasury, and the Postal Inspectors.

    • miz [any, any]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      waltuh

    • Ram_The_Manparts [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      the Postal Inspectors

      It’s this, because someone posted a link to Stealing People’s Mail by the Dead Kennedys

  • Erika3sis [she/her, xe/xem]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    DOGE

    • tocopherol [any]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      They are trying to recruit us as consultants because we have the best plans to make the government more efficient, by abolishing it cool-zone

    • Mindfury [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      This one, because it means that the confirmed paedophiles are trying to find our children

  • AutoVomBizMarkee [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    FDA preparing their crackdown on beanis posting.

    • AnarchoSnowPlow@midwest.social
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      8か月前

      It’s only the FDA if they’re already canned, dried but not processed beanis fall under the USDA’s purview.

  • Alaskaball [comrade/them, any]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    Department of Energy because our servers are based out of the Chernoblyat exclusion zone

    • TraschcanOfIdeology [they/them, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      Unironically the DoE has some of the craziest, most violent armed guards of all gvmnt agencies, I wouldn’t want to be in their sights at all.

      • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        8か月前

        they’re the nuke department and stuff that gives you supercancer just by existing near it, it’s a rare case where I’m like “ok yeah I kinda get it”

        • TraschcanOfIdeology [they/them, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          8か月前

          I’m not saying it’s unjustified, but their guards are some of the most operator-ass motherfuckers whose rules of engagement boil down to “get near the nuke, I’ll shoot you dead 5 different ways”.

          • jack [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            8か月前

            Probably keep those same dudes on after the revolution tbh

  • BelieveRevolt [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    The USDA because of our excessively dirty owls.

  • frauddogg [null/void, undecided]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    deleted by creator

    • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      bmf sitting in a CIA lab somewhere cooking up the most incomprehensibly racist propaganda the world has ever known

    • Lemmygradwontallowme [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      8か月前

      most virulent settler-leftists

      And if it’s not them, it’s the Ted Lassoite imperial labor aristocrat and PMC anti-communist anarcho-NATOist in Deutschitland, Fr*nce, Ewland etc. of Europe

  • FuckyWucky [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    FEMA frothingfash

  • take_five_seconds [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    space force

    spoiler

    hexbear started by aliums

  • tocopherol [any]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    OSHA because I work in sandals sometimes and they are building a case against me, I’m probably screwed.

  • HelluvaBottomCarter [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    So the FCC won’t let me be. Or let me be me, so let me see · They tried to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty without me

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    The ESRB because we have underage gamers playing teen-rated games.

  • Lemmygradwontallowme [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    8か月前

    The IRS. Idk what financial trouble they’ll get us into, but if they do, they’ll prolly get us, like with Capone.

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