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Posadas [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 1 year ago

It should be every chef's goal to offend the Iowan palette.

hexbear.net

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It should be every chef's goal to offend the Iowan palette.

hexbear.net

Posadas [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 1 year ago
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  • buh [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Now I understand why the guys in Slipknot are so angry

  • CommunistBear [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    This is legitimately revolting. The ICC should charge Iowa for crimes against humanity for this

    • BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de
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      1 year ago

      Someone notify the Hague food court.

  • PaulSmackage [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Gonna report this post to the mods so i can force them to look at it

    • ElChapoDeChapo [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      This is violence

    • CARCOSA [mirror/your pronouns]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      chomsky-yes-honey

    • Skeleton_Erisma [they/them, any]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      “if I have to see this shit then so do you”

      • PaulSmackage, probably
      • PaulSmackage [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Reason: yo look at this shit lmao

  • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    It wasn’t until I learned how to cook for myself that I realized how truly bland the “”“food”“” is here.

    Folks? They don’t rinse their canned beans! They use ketchup as a barbecue sauce! Black pepper is too spicy!

    • SerLava [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I always thought “white people eat bland food” was a stupid stereotype, or perhaps something from Mexico, Korea, Thailand, or some other place that eats hot food, and that by bland they just meant “not hot”. In my experience white people in Hawai’i didn’t really eat more or less bland food than everyone else.

      Then I went to the Midwest

      • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Where I’m from is whiter than old dog shit but the “local” cuisines at least have flavor and spice.

        It was wild the first time I got a slice in the Midwest and they somehow managed to have three distinct layers of bread, sauce, and toppings which somehow were completely distinct and did not interact with each other at all.

        It should be considered a skill to be able to cook the flavor out of stuff the way they do.

        • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Hmm, how should we cook broccoli? Should we grill it? Fry it? Bake it?

          No!

          Boil that shit until it turns green-grey and serve it with several tbsp of butter!

          • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            What if we find a way to cook it that not only makes it taste like stale water it also removes half the nutrients from it?

          • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            The butter is the most flavourful thing on the plate michael-laugh

      • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        The Midwest blended the blandest foods from Germany, England, and France.

        Texmex has slowly infiltrated but the Midwestern pallet can’t handle it.

      • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        The Midwest: where garlic is considered an exotic, extreme flavor

        • SerLava [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          Actually I found out that Italians are fucking garlic-phobic compared to anyone from Chicago. Like they cut out the middle of their singular garlic clove and throw it away because it has some more flavor in it

      • sooper_dooper_roofer [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        the midwest

        aka the whitest place on earth: “mid” and “west”

    • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Do they drain their beans?

      • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        No, they don’t want to “waste” the “juice”

        I thought I hated beans for years because of this shit.

        • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          Ugh, I don’t rinse my beans but I do drain them. Otherwise you’re just getting a massive salt bomb (only exception is reserving a little when making hummus).

    • KhanCipher [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      They don’t rinse their canned beans!

      That’s completely fine depending on what you’re doing. Essentially if you’re dumping a can of beans right into something that’s going to dilute the liquid (like say a pot of chili), it’s completely fine and hardly noticeable.

      • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        I notice. The difference in chilli is night and day, it’s way too starchy. I thought I hated beans for years because of that shit 😠

  • dkr567 [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Good lord that recipe needs the hamas-red-triangle treatment

  • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    White people were a mistake

  • bleepbloopbop [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    1/4 tsp tabasco data-laughing

  • ColonelKataffy [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    i mean, cream cheese and mashed avocado is probably decent tasting, but it isn’t guacamole data-revolutionary

  • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    The chef also stated cottage cheese can be substituted for the cream cheese and ketchup for the Tabasco if the crowd looked especially not spice tolerant.

    See, this right here is why white genocide is justified

    • FnordPrefect [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Oh FUCK, I tasted something! oooaaaaaaauhhh

    • panned_cakes [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      One of the most confusing parts. Cream cheese is pungent to these people.

  • poppy_apocalypse [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    The funniest taco I’ve ever seen came from a white owned Mexican restaurant. Taco Bell shell, ground beef, and shredded cheese. That’s it. Calling that a taco is offensive.

    • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Oh we had these at school too.

      Came with a little bit of shredded lettuce and the dryest fresh chopped tomatoes possible.

  • Alaskaball [comrade/them, any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    holy shit they actually put avocado in it. Isn’t that too offensive for the tongue of the white midwesterner?

    • SuperZutsuki [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      Honestly surprised it’s not just cream with green dye

      • Alaskaball [comrade/them, any]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        that green dye might be a bit too strong for their palettes tbh

  • viva_la_juche [they/them, any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    The faces my Latina fiancé made reading this to her lmao

  • JohnBrownsBussy2 [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    While I live on Liberal Mountain, I can testify that Iowa seems to have no culinary tradition. It’s south of Midwestern German/Scandanvian/Polish food, and north/east of the Southern/Tex-mex food.

    • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
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      As someone who lived in Kansas ditto

      They had a weird thing about Cinnamon Rolls and Chili. Together.

      • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        What

        • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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          Yup, every two weeks for school lunch. Also the chili is basically just thick tomato soup with bits of stuff in it.

          • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            The whole Cincinatti tradition of putting chili on top of spaghetti seems weird until you realize that by “chili” they mean ragu, ground beef and maybe a little salt.

            They’re just so completely useless at cooking they think a basic meat sauce is “chili”.

            • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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              It has salt, to the Midwestern pallet that means its spicy. 😞

          • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            Dear God

      • Moonworm [any]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Cinnamon is honestly pretty good in chili if you want to take it that direction.

        • DefinitelyNotAPhone [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          Moroccan cooking involves a shitload of cinnamon in everything savory, and it is delicious.

          • panned_cakes [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            as everything should

        • bdonvr@thelemmy.club
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          Cinnamon is definitely underrated as an ingredient in savory dishes. Mexico got that shit figured out.

          But also I disagree with cinnamon rolls and chili as a pairing on principle so please don’t try and use logic here.

      • CommunistBear [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        I will admit, I tried cinnamon rolls and chili. As long as the chili itself isn’t sweet it’s really good. Cornbread and chili is already an amazing combo so it’s only a half step away from that

  • DoiDoi [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    deleted by creator

    • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      the iowa equivalent of a michelin star is

      The Michelin Tire

  • chicory [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    What the fuuuuuuuck

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