your answer is some kind of zen level wisdom I still need to master.

Happy that you can, but apparently I cannot (yet?)

are you sure you didn’t mean to say ‘you are’?

does this also work with women? most nurses I work with are women and are simply incapable of being silent more than 2 minutes.

they may be offended in short term. but in the long you will have more respect.

they WILL be offended and proceed to furiously talk behind my back and destroy my credibility

I’m very introverted and to me any kind of question about me is a prying one: my age, where I was born, how long I’ve been living where I am. I simply don’t get why I have to tell my coworkers about this, nor I understand why they get offended if I don’t answer the question. If I’m fired or I quit I’m not going to see them ever again. Who cares?

I’m a nurse and at my hospital there are rituals that bore me but anyone else finds, apparently, great: after report, talking time, usually 30 minutes. They talk about boring stuff, are loud and obnoxious, I simply don’t understand why adults act like this. I read to pass the time, but have to be there with them because we’re officially working. This happens at least three times per shift: once more to have lunch (for whatever reason we ALL must have lunch together, even if it means not having your own chair) and after charting, where, once again, I must remain with them because that’s officially working time. If I leave, have a seat in the pause room and start reading, I get yelled at, no matter than I can also hear the bell from there.

It gets very boring. God my new job cannot start soon enough.

I don’t have the luxury of having my own working station.

I’ve started to do extra chores just not to have to hear them. It also reduces the chance of them asking me about me.

Yeah every single one of your coworkers is childish on an elementary school level, sure.

I guess I should’ve written ‘my coworkers sometimes behave like elementary school children’ which is every time they have nothing to do. This is what I feel. I guess to them, they ain’t being childish but engaging. To me it still feels childish.

You either work with a ton of real weirdos, or more likely are way overemphasizig to get people to take your complaints more seriously.

I don’t believe I’m overemphasizing. This is how perceive reality. And I haven’t even started with the patient population

Your perception of yourself and your coworkers is not as objective and devoid of emotion as you think.

you are right, everything I wrote is how I perceive reality, which is, mostly subjective, but to me it still feels objective, if that makes sense. I don’t believe my post (the one that started the thread) is objective, it’s how I perceive my coworkers.

They demand authenticity and complain that people express emotions in the same sentence.

wait, you are right. My coworkers are authentic and they get along among themselves, whereas my way of being authentic seems to be the complete opposite. They are authentic being silly, loud and childish, I am authentic reading a book and not yapping.

We are simply incompatible. I mean its sad people believe a workplace is like an elementary school, but, what can I do to change it? Nothing. I’m glad I’m leaving. In future, I’ll look for jobs where I don’t have to endure silly people like this, a work with as less human contact as possible, or at least with no needy patients that demand you listen to their rants and become their therapist for 4 hours per shift. God I hate that.

The whole post can be summarized as “Life would be so much better if other people’s thoughts and behaviours were organized around me and my preferences”.

while true, I’d suggest ‘Life would be so much better if other people’s thoughts were left unsaid and coworkers let me work’

this is a chance to start looking for better fitting jobs.

I’m in my 50s, always feel like an alien, and still think I’m 19yo.

don’t let anyone take your inner child away. Don’t let society change this about you.

I’m guessing that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

it’s ok, the book is already helpful. At this point I have no expectations about society anymore. It’s survival mechanisms what interest me.

I’ve at some time adjusted my field of work to be 100% remote, and now I’m seeing how to change even that. I’ve eliminated Interactions with undesired people almost completely.

then “all” I have to do is to keep looking for jobs where I almost never interact with people…

I got one “nurse” who was proactive and was an asset to my team, but they got pushed out since they didn’t play the game the way other “nurses” did.

and this exactly is why I left my old unit. A doctor like you is the one who wrote me the recommendation letter.

exactly. Nurses there are proud of not thinking critically.

Are you being considerate of the doctors’ time and attention?

well, he came into the unit, I introduced myself and I asked him what I described.

A person in a hurry keeps his answers short and doesn’t proactively explain in detail what’s important when working with a PCA device at that unit, how to check the catheter wound and how to check that the patient’s legs are not completely numb. To me, he saw somebody new wanting to learn and engaged. He even showed me how to refill the PCA.

I always ask if I may ask a question, giving them the chance to tell me if they’re busy. If they don’t want to answer the question, I leave them alone.

unsure. The doctor that did most of the talking didn’t complain and had an ability to work and explain at the same time, something I couldn’t do.

with other doctors I introduced myself and got to talk about studying medicine and clinical chemistry, but not for long.

At my old unit I had problems with nurses, not with doctors. Doctors are not the reason I left that unit, but nurses.

Since you just said “ok” without explanation or complaint, and then hung up, thats very matter of fact, straight to the point, and lacks the more emotional response most neurotypical people would have.

because I don’t want drama and when I work I get, as you put it, straight to the point. Why wasting words and time? What do I achieve if I yell and insult back? I become a moron yelling to another moron.

I’ve seen people walked out for less andI work in a factory.

now I’m curious. Would you tell us about it?

The way you responded was more indicative of being autistic to an extent.

would you please elaborate? What gives me away?

me: Hi, I’m A and tomorrow I’ll be working with you. Can you tell me how many patients do you have today at the unit?

her: what for? (she sounded exasperated).

me: I want to know how much I have to work.

her: are you stupid? (aggressively)

me: I beg your pardon?

her: are you stupid? [insert rant here she started I didn’t listen to because when people yell at me I disconnect and if she already made up her mind not to answer me, why bother? Plus, how many of you can have a conversation with somebody yelling at you?]

me: fine [I hung up]

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FYI, the medical community is one of the worst from the popularity contest perspective.

could you write examples of is worse here than in other industries? Are some units worse than others? Some regions worse than others?

promoting team cohesion and performance is one of our primary responsibilities, as is stepping up and leading when necessary.

are you a nurse or doctor working in a hospital?

I don’t agree with your last part: it’s not my fault that a unit is controlled by lazy gossips and the manager does nothing to make a more welcoming workplace for the quiet, working ones because she either is too coward to confront the lazy bullies or enjoys the attention or believes she is not going to find better employees. I do not work with people like that anymore, nor do I socialize with these kind of people, neither it’s my job to promote performance and my paycheck sure reflects that. That’s a manager’s job.

I take this job as seriously as my coworkers. If they go smoking for an hour and let me alone to take care of the whole unit your model fails. If they spend their first 90 minutes consciously not working but gossiping and I’m the only one checking vitals and charting your model fails. If the popular and lazy ones control the narrative and paint me as the uncooperative nurse while I work and they do nothing and the manager believes them over me your model also fails. To lead up I need to see that my coworkers know their shit and that they actually do that, something I hope to find at my new unit.

This post might sound a bit abrasive, not my intention.