Linux nerd and consultant. Sci-fi, comedy, and podcast author. Former Katsucon president, former roller derby bouncer. http://punkwalrus.net/

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Cake day: June 22nd, 2023

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  • You got me. I think it was because our group was under one contract set of hires (I was an employee, but some of these people were still part of a contract), which is why we weren’t let go immediately. But sometimes you get some manager who doesn’t want the OLD people, but a FRESH NEW set of people. For example, when the entire QA department was let go an outsourcer, all the documentation we made was thrown out the window because “that was the old way!” And the next major software release was a disaster. And we were going from a 16 bit client (Windows 3.1x based) version to the new 32 bit (Windows 95/98-native) version, and the QA/testing was not really part of the process. “Who are these product testers, and why are they so negative about the product? LOSE 'EM! They only see mistakes, there’s no room for that kind of attitude, and it slows the whole release cycle down.”

    Corporate stupidity.


  • This is comedy gold. MANY years ago, late 1990s, my department was getting laid off, but due to some contract line items, they gave us 90 days to find a new job within the company and then blacklisted us, which was another bullshit thing. Then someone found in a job hiring seminar in a nearby convention center where our company had a booth. The seminar was free, so a bunch of us went.

    At the booth, we found out that they were interviewing for our jobs (QA testing engineers). Not a surprise, but they got excited when the first few of us were uniquely qualified (duh). But after the third person, that guy didn’t hide we still worked for our company. Someone from the HR team panicked when they realized the group of us were CURRENT employees. What made it even funnier was that not only was it the same QA testing jobs they needed to hire for, but the pay was about 20% greater than we were making.

    HR called corporate asking “what do we do???” Corporate said “SHUT THE BOOTH DOWN!!” A very weird reaction. Then we applied to other jobs at the fair, and when we left, the booth was still closed. The next day, those that interviewed got taken into a meeting room and cursed out by management for “that stupid stunt!” We asked, “so why are we being blacklisted?” “You’re not being blacklisted!” “Uh… nobody internally will return our calls, and we have found out that they were told not to return our calls due to a leaked email.”

    Oof. Oddly enough, i got a new job a few weeks later in the same company. So it kind of worked.


  • It’s the “not handling” part that gets us as kids. We knew better. Adults didn’t. In my case, I was in high school, but it was on a “Teacher workday, student holiday” we had each semester. I watched it live on NASA TV, which we had on channel UHF 55 in the DC area. Even the voice of mission control delayed about a minute or two. I remember thinking, “THAT didn’t look good…” but then they said nothing but normal speed and temp readings, so I thought it was just the angle of the chase plane. Only when the famous “forked cloud” appeared that the announcer said, “we have an apparent major malfunction,” or something.


  • No. I have known a lot of attractive people get bullied by jealous bullies. Imagine you’re attractive, guys checking you out, and girls who work HARD to get noticed see you get noticed without much effort. You may even be, “no thank you,” like you have a choice. And they will seethe because they think it’s unfair you “have it so easy.” Logic and reason do not apply to bullies, they only know how to “preemptively retaliate” to keep the status quo in their head,




  • Here’s the thing: Trump may has said he allowed it via executive order, and whatever. But you come after data I was sworn to protect? Come here with a judge-vetted legal warrant and court order. Oh, you’ll fire me? Then I did my job. I’ll be arrested for doing the right thing, not cowardly giving in “because they might yell at me.” Yeah, I did that once, and I got a big fat nothing out of it. I got out before the S&L crisis, but I saw it coming a mile away. I have no loyalty to some rando from South Africa. I have a loyalty and duty to my job and country and fellow citizens.

    My hope, and it’s a thin hope, is that they really can’t fucking do anything with the data because they don’t understand it. Or lied they have it, and we let them believe this lie as part of the protection. They only have 200 copies of “WideWorldImporters Sample Database for SQL Server and Azure SQL Database” and think it’s real. Or whatever. Unlikely, but I gotta have hope somewhere. Part of this is because I know how PII is stored, and it’s not like one large file. It’s multiple systems with “just in time” joins and a horrible complex mess that’s a wonder it works at all. A bunch of 19 year olds and a rich liar are monkeys with baseball bats hitting a random laptop as a comparison. Millions are spent on contractors to work with it, and rarely does any single one person know how it ALL works. Just pieces of it. And some of it was in COBOL. What, one of those kids has a spare PDP/11 in their garage? But, maybe that’s thinking too hopefully.

    Even if they suddenly stopped, it will take decades to undo the damage they have already done.

    Side note: “the launch codes” are not like, two hex keys to launch nuclear missiles. It’s so much more complicated than that, that I used to fear in the 1980s that the Ruskies would bomb us flat before someone with the right laminated notebook was located. “What? The keys didn’t work? Didn’t anyone test if the keys fit? NO???” I’m not saying that’s an exact case, but an example of shit I have run into. I have to also hope for sheer incompetence saving us, like out of the movie Brazil or something. God damn, this is a bleak dystopia.


  • I had the same thing happen at a bank, my manager threatened to fire me if I didn’t hand over my login and password. After being trained to never give anyone, even your boss, the login and password. And why? Because she was doing illegal things under the teller’s logins. If she had gotten caught, I would be blamed. So I quit that job. And then the whole S&L scandal happened, and I was unsurprised. After that, I learned never to give anyone a login and password. I tell myself it’s a test. I’ll be fired for giving them the login and password. And if they fire me, well, get another job. I have skills to get another job these days.

    And yeah, “well, your director will just give it to them.” That’s on my director. I will at least lose my damn job without a guilty conscience. I know I did my part for the right reasons.




  • These are two types of cartoon sounds when a character snores.

    The “Inside you there are two wolves” is the name of a proverb which began being parodied towards the end of 2018 and through the beginning of 2019. In the original proverb, a grandfather says there are two wolves fighting inside him, an evil one and a good one. His grandson asks, “who will win?” The grandfather replies, “The one you feed.” In parodies, the story is often simplified to “There are two wolves inside you. One is X. The other is X. You are X.” The proverb’s actual origins are murky. It has been attributed to Christian pastor Billy Graham in 1978, as well as the Cherokee Native American tribe.




  • Basic setup for me is scripted on a new system. In regards to ssh, I make sure:

    • Root account is disabled, sudo only
    • ssh only by keys
    • sshd blocks all users but a few, via AllowUsers
    • All ‘default usernames’ are removed, like ec2-user or ubuntu for AWS ec2 systems
    • The default ssh port moved if ssh has to be exposed to the Internet. No, this doesn’t make it “more secure” but damn, it reduces the script denials in my system logs, fight me.
    • Services are only allowed connections by an allow list of IPs or subnets. Internal, when possible.

    My systems are not “unhackable” but not low-hanging fruit, either. I assume everything I have out there can be hacked by someone SUPER determined, and have a vector of protection to mitigate backwash in case they gain full access.


  • I have done a lot of personal study on this. There are “Christians” and there are “Team Christian.” Actual Christians usually practice what they preach, or try to. The “Team Christian” folks are like people who have a favorite football team: they wear the jerseys, watch the games, and claim the tribal aspect of “I am good, they are bad.” But know nothing of the philosophy or inner workings any more than the average football fan plays professional football, or runs the corporation end that manages the team.

    Also, like most bullies, they love saying the opposite just to make you mad. “If Jesus were alive today, he would have shot all the immigrants with a machine gun,” so you go “NO HE WOULDN’T HAVE YOU EVEN READ A BIBLE YOU HYPOCRITE GRRRR!!!” and they laugh at how mad you got. Like a bully saying “nice hair!” because they know it will make you angry, and they’ll act all innocent.






  • I had a pool table, a professional tournament style, I couldn’t get rid of, even if I paid someone. It was maddening, because people didn’t understand that this was a plaster-laid, felted, slate top and the entire thing was 1300lbs. People thought a pool table was light like a dining room table. In order to move it, it had to be de-felted, have the plaster cracked, and the three huge 400+lb slate pieces moved individually, and then the huge wooden frame disassembled. No company would touch it. The place we got it from went out of business, so I had nobody to buy this monster of a table that took up half my rec room.

    Luckily, some collector was found by my assistant some 17 years later, and finally, it was professionally removed. I paid $6000 for it, and while I only got $800 for it, I would have PAID to get it removed. So I was pleased to see it go and get my rec room back.