Both the reasons you listed may be part of it. I will try to approach it from your perspective which can help me to force myself. I will be able to do it if I really dedicate time and attention to it.

Thanks, if I somehow stumble on somebody who mentions even one thing I can relate to, I’ll be sure to listen and absorb what was said.

What do you think of combining this approach with simple train of thought and/or sporadic notes? Funnily enough I didn’t even think of writing on a schedule or in a structured way until you just mentioned it.

Yes I was quite afraid, or maybe just somewhat prepared, that a healthy solution is not possible.

I guess I should note that a minimization of pain is better than nothing. So I’ll take any ideas that are healthy-adjacent at least.

Thanks, might well be something I need to look into depending on my decision.

Very good info and your comment has convinced me that fire is not the solution. I think I know what I can do instead, actually.

Thanks, I’ll work towards opening up with myself and trying something

Thanks a lot

I really appreciate this idea. I’ve always thought I was no good at traditional “art” but perhaps I need to broaden my idea of what will constitute art and what can be made and kept in plain sight.

Yes. Ok well that complicates things, but I suppose a piece of string small enough may be able to dangle out of the closed door and maybe be slightly moved…

Ok, that’s a good point and something appreciated insight.

One thing I want to try is journaling, to start.

Edit: has anyone ever tried to journal but was instinctively unable to write unrestricted? I think I just need to push through this feeling.

Additionally, in general, what digital signals (if any, reliably) are able to penetrate a locked safe?

Good point and clarification. I’ll leave my error up there because hey maybe somebody else will learn too.

You’re right that I would argue for a specific case and I suppose that is what makes it a difficult measure to quantify.

And yes of course any opinion in this thread will inevitably have bias if they’re responding to my request for personal experiences, including my own. I’m not trying to avoid bias here but just gather what individuals are thinking. In my case, you’re right that my conflation of public interest is incorrect. Though I still believe in my experiences the system is very imperfect and overly rigid.

Thanks.

I would love to move to BC if the cost of living was not even higher than what I’m experiencing here. Maybe one day!

Please protect your personal information, people. For those curious what sparked the idea of posting this - it was Doug Ford’s proposal for live-streaming bail hearings, which gave me a push towards discussing things I’ve never really publicly discussed.

Edit: oh, and please make sure you are referencing Canadian law and experiences in Ontario. The legal system of other countries is not relevant here.

Fun fact when you apply for ODSP you are “encouraged” to fill out an “optional” self-assessment and talk about how your life is shit and plead your case and describe your issues to some unknown government shithead who’s not a qualified practitioner. Most reports I’ve seen, people say this drastically improves your odds at acceptance. I’d imagine from about 0.5% to 1% or something like that.

Isn’t that just the most fun fucking fact you’ve ever heard?

Hey when you apply for a job can they request you share your personal medical history to help your odds of qualifying? No, they can’t? Huh.

Gosh darn right bud I’ve been waiting over a year now for a surgery and the specialist’s office says not to call about appointment updates so I’m gonna just sit here and wait like the OHIP abuser I am. What’s another few months of pain?

Yes it is. But hey what if we’re just faking it for free handouts? Can’t be too sure. I mean, if they’re really disabled shouldn’t they be in wheelchairs or missing limbs or unable to talk or something?

Fucking circus.

Thanks for the insight on OW and issues that homeless struggle with.

But hey out of sight out of mind right? Let’s invest our money in homeless-hostile architecture and removing homeless from parks because that’s easier than fixing the root of the problem. P.S. foreign home buyers please feel free to “invest” in real estate here and sit on your empty property as long as you like - Canada is here for you. Real estate must not dip!

Your volunteering is appreciated by those you’re helping. It really does make a difference.