helping with dishes at home = happy

Nice try, mom.

Gotta have my cheap trinkets overnight! Won’t have it any other way!

Something involving beans and jeans, more like.

It’s about liability. Companies don’t want their salt returned to them after x years, especially not with some lame excuse. So they just define an expiration date y that’s far off enough to not drive customers away, but still minimizes the risk of complaints.
If a (big) customer successfully complains within this time span, they’ll simply decrease it.

While I would never miss the toilet, I just might miss the toilet bowl.

That’s pretty much the basic premise of the Chuang Tzu.

Thanks. I didn’t know there was a real band called “The Pipi Pickers” and I might have lived on happily without that knowledge.

How do the crows avoid getting acid into their eyes?

Alfred Charles Kinsey, of Kinsey Reports fame, was into sounding and at least once put a toothbrush up his own urethra… with the coarse end first.

Yeah I’ll agree with the other commenters, you came up with some good and very detailed ideas, but they’ll need some honing and fine-tuning to the reality on the ground. Maybe think about joining a political party? At the local level, you can get quickly connected with the right kind of people you can bounce your ideas off of.

I feel like the “Swedish” pancake should be a LOT cheaper.

Is that a toaster?

How do they put it on?

Needs more “Yes/ Ask again later” pseudo-choices.

This little detour…

And look how well it went.

♪ Nightswimming, remembering that night
September’s coming soon, I’m pining for the moon ♪

Ceci n’est pas un cigar.

Obviously, that’s a… bishop. For the big chess board in the background. It even has a suction cup so you can play vertically.
^{Just wait until you see the knight.}