Fortunately our most handsome politicians came up with a cheap last minute solution!

A crank handle radio/flashlight combo is a great investment to put in your trunk.

Combat medic and GWOT-EM by mistake or republican full of shit? Hmm

How about a baseball to the face Lucky Number Slevin style, Sox have a pretty good bullpen these days

People think Massholes are mean, nah just impatient. Let’s throw some nazis into the harbor instead of tea this time and start another revolution

They didn’t destroy Earth to build a bypass, the bypass was built around us

Unfortunately we’re just getting started on building the sanctuary districts, sure would be nice if we could just skip WW3

Bunch of real hoopy froods there

I used to work for AAA which has a program called GIG (Get It Going) where you can rent a Prius in the Bay Area much like a Lime scooter. They had to stay connected and EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND someone would take one up to hike in the mountains or drive down the coast, lose connection and it would instantly go into lockdown mode. They would have to call for us to tow a dead car they couldn’t even open to get their things out of.

So hey, a bear or crackhead might do the killing for you if you get a WiFi car

Or they could charge you. When I bought a used Ford the dealer wanted me to pay a $100 fee to change the door keypad code, something I did myself in about 2 minutes.

Kind of except there wasn’t much rioting and the government just gave ICE carte blanche to build more “sanctuary districts.”

As much as I love Trek I think Einstein was more correct about WW4 being fought with sticks and stones.

We need your particular set of skills to kidnap and possibly deflate a giant orange balloon that people keep pretending is human.

Be patient Vladdy, you’re receiving little bits of Ukraine with each drone that lands in Russia

Same, considering its age that thing is in mint condition and barely made any noise, really highlighted how much crowd noise wasn’t there

Same, but whacking stuff with a stick is generally easier

My assumption was to try and make the troops look more menacing as a message to places like LA, really hoping for an NK dear leader style ass kissing but just got to hear the squeaking of a Sherman instead.

Like riding a bike. Those soldiers were doing their best to sham in plain sight and right in front of that bloated tangerine, I’ve never been so proud of the E-4 mafia in my life.

The shooter that police state is not a cop and had a flyer in his car

Take that with a metric ton of salt.

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