The trooves are out there.

Tushy

I can tell when the batteries on my cordless mouse have died. There’s a strange feeling of resistance when the mouse is active, but when it’s dead, nothing.

I’ve been saying this for months. How long until 47 “has a stroke.”

Jesus is always on the job site by 730 with his tools and a smile on his face.

So a shitgun instead of a poostol.

The Democratic party has proven twice now that they want so badly to have the first woman president that they ignore what their constituents want.

You don’t know old until you’ve had to change the IRQ for your sound card because wolf3d.exe’s settings were different than swotl.exe.

Yup. Vote for a turd taco or a shit sandwich. That’s all we get the choice for anymore.

Gimme a stoner any day. Better than trying to talk a roided up jock half way through a bottle of tequila out of punching his nana. I don’t consume myself because weed just puts me to sleep. I guess I’m mellow enough.

Remember when Idiocracy was a farce instead of a documentary?

Doppler effect.

With reddit eating X’s ass on the highway to insignificance.

I have revived multiple computers and my mom’s windshield wipers with concussive application of a rubber chicken.

I was just thinking earlier today that I miss Tim Walz. Walz 2028!

Diesel too?

My cat is obsessed with my socks. If a load of clean laundry has been left too long before it gets folded and put away, my socks will be scattered throughout the house.

Did both parties involved in the transaction get fired?

As are pretzel buns.