cross-posted from: https://thelemmy.club/post/55106938
They didn’t give me that much affection, but I still miss said affection and good times. I know we’re still young, but I’ve been really upset in the relationship. From their point of view, I feel like I was a mean person who did them wrong and just abandoned them when I was closest to them, and I understand if they hate me now and talk behind my back and all their friends hate me.
They told me some weird things like that I couldn’t be aromantic because I was too young (said person also identifies as aromantic despite being a year younger than me) and that I’m just autistic so I don’t understand love.
They’ve been insensitive and laughed when I was upset and kept saying “LOL LOL” or similar stuff.
I do feel bad, but they wouldn’t listen when I wanted to break up. They’d convince me to stay, get mad at me, and act like it was my fault or try to make me feel bad for wanting to break up.
We’ve been friends since I was in like 7th grade, so this really does suck. They always seemed like they were this very progressive human rights activist too, but when it comes to me, I’m a confused girl…
There is a lesson I learned rather recently that helped put a feather into a similar storm of my past, namely “Maybe you do not miss the person or place, but rather you miss the feelings you had at the time.”
Not all connections work out, and many places are rearview towns. Whether you did any wrong is irrelevant, you decided, and YOU are the one who gets to decide, to leave. And if they have a hard time accepting that you left, that is on them to figure out, not for you to fret over.
Let them talk and say what they will. You took your life and made a choice to go a path you felt was right. All that matters.
There is no magic bullet to moving on, I would be a liar if I said otherwise. But it does help to contextualize. It does not have to be “everything was bad,” or “everything was good.” It was an experience, what seems like a not very healthy and quite complicated one, but an experience nonetheless. It serves to help teach you lessons about yourself, about others, and about how you view and interact. Talking about it is a great first step, it means that the turmoil is not getting locked in a cage, avoiding light to shine into it.
