• velma@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    You’re right. The real victims here are men. It’s so difficult for men to have control over their reproductive rights, to have access to contraception, being slut-shamed for getting pregnant out of wedlock, murdered at higher rates by their domestic partners when they’re pregnant, having to go through birth and the risks associated with that, and then have to fear the higher risk of rape while they’re in the hospital recovering from birth.

    • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      This seems like light trolling, but you’re on the fence. Everyone here is trying to discuss things from my perspective. I understand your frustration, but try and keep it less sarcastic. This is a warning.

    • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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      3 days ago

      You got all this from my question? Wow.

      I was just wandering if that’s @riqusimo experience because in my experience and from what I see vasectomy is not an easy fix (pun?) for men. Most of them are still expected to reproduce when time comes. More and more women never want kids but majority still does. Very few men will get a vasectomy before actually forming a family which is after the danger of causing unwanted pregnancy mostly passed. Even older men will be questioned about their motivation and doctors may simply refuse to perform it for younger men that don’t have kids. Not to mention that in some countries vasectomy is simply illegal (Poland). On top of that we have decades of laughing at vasectomies in media and equating it with impotence. For some stupid reason many people still think being infertile means you’re somehow less manly or something - another reason many men will thing about it twice.

      So… not really as simple as riquisimo makes it sound. I wander what’s his experience and why it’s so different than mine.

      But yeah, sorry for offending you with my question…

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        Women are often refused permanent birth control until their husbands sign off on the procedure.

        There’s space to talk about the issues men face when it comes to reproduction and birth control. Taking over a post talking about women’s bodies and pregnancy issues to complain that men have it as difficult as women will come off as insensitive and sealioning to some.

        • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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          3 days ago

          Taking over a post talking about women’s bodies and pregnancy issues

          This is community about twitter, not about women’s issues. I know you don’t like it but we’re still allowed to talk about our experiences here, regardless our gender. No one is “taking over” posts here. We’re just talking.

          to complain that men have it as difficult as women

          No one said this, you’re just making stuff up now. Taking about men’s issues doesn’t invalidate women’s issues. I don’t know what’s the point of silencing men and dismissing their problems. It’s not helping anyone.

          will come off as insensitive and sealioning to some.

          No idea what that is.

      • riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 days ago

        In my late 20’s the urologist recommended I wait, as I was still pretty young. Ok, so I waited. 4-5 years later I went back and scheduled the appt, but then my primary care told me I should wait because I still wasn’t married (though he had a med student training with him that day and she was supportive of my decision) At that point I really didn’t care what he thought, I wanted to go along with it.

        Ultimately, I postponed again because of a discussion I had with my partner. Who is the only other person who’s say should have any influence on my opinion.

        So yeah, there’s resistance everywhere. Ultimately I took a little advice but was going to do what I wanted anyway. I don’t care if movies make vasectomies look less manly. Movies make it seem like a manly endevour is to get laid. If you’re getting a vasectomy it’s because you’re getting laid. Shaming it is dumb.

        So that’s my experience for whatever it’s worth.

        • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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          2 days ago

          So yeah, there’s resistance everywhere. Ultimately I took a little advice but was going to do what I wanted anyway. I don’t care if movies make vasectomies look less manly. Movies make it seem like a manly endevour is to get laid. If you’re getting a vasectomy it’s because you’re getting laid. Shaming it is dumb.

          Yeah, it’s incredibly stupid but the idea is there. Many men will be worried about it…

          So as I said, it’s not as simple. By the time doctors accept you know what you’re doing you are usually old enough to support family. Vasectomy doesn’t protect 20 year olds from getting someone pregnant by accident.