I’ve encountered this as: the elephant and the rider. The rider knows where they’re going and can attempt to guide to elephant. The elephant can do the traversal. If the rider has no direction, the elephant will just wander. If the elephant doesn’t want to do something, there’s not much the rider can do. Take care of your elephant so you can be on the same page, but know that you cannot reason with or force it.
I’ve unfortunately seen this metaphor weaponized for workplace management where employees are viewed as dumb beasts that need the ankusha.
Umm yeah, I need a new elephant, please
Just get the spare out of the trunk.
There’s also when you do all that stuff, and it works, and then you go, “Alright, I’ve found the solution, but now that I figured it out it’s boring and I’m going to go back to my bad habits.”
Sometimes you need a little more fulfillment, the same way you need sunlight and sleep. Going and volunteering for a couple of hours a week will give you all kinds of feel good chemicals and be its own motivation to continue once you start. I enjoy volunteering outdoors because its typically more chill and I’m killing like, three birds with one stone by volunteering outside with physical labor (exercise!).
I once volunteered for about a year doing a 3d printer lab at a library. It quickly became a commitment that I would dread every other Sunday and it burned me out so I had to stop. It put me off from wanting to volunteer again. I’m generally a helpful person and don’t mind sharing my time with others, but the work like commitment really ruined it for me. Maybe if I didn’t have a full time job it might have been more enjoyable.
Or maybe I’m actually an awful person that lied to myself about my ability to be generous. Idk.
nope, it’s just most people are trash, the disadvantaged included
i volunteered for the homeless for a few years and while many were good people, plenty were not
You’re not a bad person for not being able to keep up with it! It’s literally unpaid labor. The key is finding volunteer work that doesn’t feel like work and leaves you energized after you’re done with it. For you that wasn’t helping out with 3D printing, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can volunteer for that’s fulfilling to you.
“fix your sleep schedule” like it’s easy
It’s called “insomnia”, not “I don’t wanna go to sleep”.
just go to sleep and ignore the republicans burning our country/world down
That, but I also don’t want to go to sleep because (1) there is a strong association in my mind between “going to sleep” and endless feelings of frustration and (2) I’ve just started feeling like half a human, now that I’ve forced myself awake for more than 12 hours, and just because it’s “late” you want me to try to go unconscious again instead of maybe getting at least SOMEthing done?!
If I’m actually being productive at bed time, fsck it. I’ll get back in sync later.
But, I think most of the time I stay up too late, I’m not actually accomplishing anything. I’m either playing games that I will enjoy just as much, maybe even more, if I practice good sleep hygiene. Or, I’m letting some recommendation algorithm drip-free me neurotransmitters, and that’s not worth disrupting your sleep routine.
^^ This.
If 300mg of Trazadone every night doesn’t fix my insomnia, I’m not sure how much going to bed at a set time or not using my phone in bed are going to help matters.
While science is basically never absolute, and those bits of science aren’t particularly strong, it’s really worth a try.
Forgive me if you’ve already given it a try and know it doesn’t work for you. That’s unclear from your post, and not the vibe I get from it. I know not everything works for everyone.
Sleep hygiene does have a very strong correlation to life satisfaction. I really hope you can find the later, even if not via the former.
Oh, already tried it, but thanks for your concern, unfederated friend.
I do the whole “No blue light after 10 / the bed exists only for sleep and sex / screen time management / etc etc etc”…still maybe 4 hours of shitty tossing and turning per night.
I had a terrible sleep schedule for many many years. Then I got a night shift job. The discipline it took to swap my day and night and then swap it back was what I needed to maintain a solid sleeping schedule. I have for 5 years now. It really does improve every other facet of your life when you aren’t living through sleep deprivation.
Tom Papa: it’s like you’re your own pet, and some people aren’t good at caring for pets
I’d definitely take care of a pet better than I’d take care of myself! Probably still not well enough to make me a good owner, though.
How is this so accurate lol
The animal and owner bit is basically id and ego, so it’s a observation that’s older than I am (and I’m from the 1900s).
“Some of them want to use you, some of them want to get used by you” doesn’t have to be your attitude. The world isn’t bad, only humans are.
The world isn’t bad, only humans are.
I’ve seen some pretty horrific things come out of nature, I’m not so sure about that
o goodie! a song now stuck in my head.
sweet dreams
But it’s a lie 🤫 no lords, no slaves
