Here are a few I’ve heard:
- “Identifying as demisexual is just a form of slut-shaming”
- “‘Demisexuality’ is just the human norm, most people don’t fuck someone they just met”
- “Asexual claims of discrimination are an insult to the Black Americans who struggled in the Civil Rights Movement”
- “Anyone who identifies as asexual is either an incel in denial or has a medical problem that needs to be cured”
Perhaps not the wildest thing, but easily one of the more shocking things I heard was when I was struggling a lot with certain aspects of my transition.
I’m colorblind, so things like clothes and makeup were, and still are, often big struggles.
A former friend, a cis girl who was around a lot by didn’t know on a personal level super well, offered to take me under her wing as it were, and help me with my transition.
But when push came to shove, and I actually needed help with things, she was often dismissive, if not outright hostile about it.
One day, when I was venting about struggling with makeup, and that my colorblindness never really felt like a disability until I started transitioning, she told me that “It didn’t matter” that I didn’t know anything about makeup, and that I shouldn’t want to because I, “would be a vain removed for caring so much about it” (I was hoping to learn some things about covering up beard shadow).
That was really the turning point in our relationship, and it never really recovered. She would say things all the time, and about how she was there to be a ‘big sister’ to me, but then tear me down when I actually tried to share anything about my transition.
Eventually things just petered out, and I let it go. But I still struggle to open up about my transition, as a result. Especially to cis women.