• DerRedMax [comrade/them, any]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      3 months ago

      Sorry about your Dad. Mine died about nine months ago and it is just starting to really hit. Our relationship was… complicated.

      Nothing to add to the conversation, but I like your posts and I hope you are doing okay.

      • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        Yeah same. It gets weird. I’m quite good and it’s been years but you get weird reminders and feelings over bizarre things. Nothing that makes me sad just… Odd feelings? I can’t describe it tbh.

        …Actually scratch that, I do occassionally get angry and it’s because I blame the covid response for failure to extend his life somewhat more and the lack of oxygen the ambulance team had due to shortages. I also get viscerally angry about how much of his life was spent on being exploited for him to go out like that. I wasn’t even close to him but I feel rage on his behalf in part because while he was terminal I know he was angry at the world too because he occasionally talked about just taking some people he disliked with him. I don’t think he was ever going to be the man that would act on that, but I know how angry he was at the world underneath and unlike his analysis of the world I know who the real fucking blame for that is.

        This was written mostly train of thought.