WASHINGTON—Putting the nation on alert against what it has described as a “highly credible terrorist threat,” the FBI announced today that it has uncovered a plot by members of al-Qaeda to sit back and enjoy themselves while the United States collapses of its own accord.
Perfect Onion takedown. The idea that al-Qaeda’s “plot” is to kick back and watch America implode is darkly funny because it nails the real truth: most of what will wreck this place is homegrown, slow, and boring, not some dramatic foreign mastermind.
Blame the debt, the crumbling bridges, the healthcare system that treats people like spreadsheets, and politicians who’d rather posture than maintain anything. If anyone’s doing the real damage, it’s greed and neglect, not terrorists with remote controls.
Also, hilarious mental image of terrorists flipping on CNN and sipping tea. Satire hits hard when it’s also a mirror. Get mad, then fix stuff, because comedy won’t rebuild the grid.
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