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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/cuteevelvettttt on 2025-08-13 23:42:51+00:00.

This morning was a mess. I was running late, barely awake, grabbed my coffee and headed for the door. A guy’s walking in, we do that awkward left-right dance and I somehow launch my coffee right onto his shirt.

I start apologizing but my brain decides the solution is to grab napkins and start patting his chest like I’m frisking him. About 3 pats in I realize I’m basically groping a stranger before work. I panic, shove the napkins into his hand, mumble something like “uh sorry man” and back out of the shop like I just shoplifted.

Now I’m at my desk smelling like coffee and shame, and somewhere out there this guy’s telling his coworkers about the psycho who assaulted him with napkins.

TL;DR spilled coffee on a guy and accidentally patted him down in public before running away