Additionally what kind of Kung fu movie character would you be? I would study at the School of the Snake’s Hand who are evil and I would train my whole life at martial arts, turning my body into a weapon only to charge straight at the main character and be roundhouse kicked through a wall.
Way of the Updog
Not Much Tiger, What’s Up With You Dragon style
This implies there’s a dojo of the quirked up white boy who use sexual style kung fu
You cannot defeat my GOATed with the sauce style!
Whats updog?
EstraDoll’s Asskickeria
Please take me as your first student, sifu
first lesson, we’re working on your vibe. here’s a headband and an empty beer can to crush on your forehead
You show great promise, young one
Do a bunch of pushups (idk however many you feel like), then come with me. We’re going to that one store full of weeb shit in the mall to look at karambits and swords from anime to put on the wall of the dojo. You can’t wear a shirt out in public though
The ‘just have fun, enjoy yourself and don’t take it too seriously’ dojo
The ‘The real Kung Fu is the friends you make along the way’ Dojo
We play mahjong all day
“ron”
“RON THIS, ASSHOLE. I WAS IN TENPAI FOR A HANEMAN AND YOU WENT FOR AN OPEN TANYAO”
and then you start working on your martial arts
Martial arts is too hard let’s just play another lazy hanchan
fine but you’re catching these hands if i see you pull another 1 han open hand
The bean dojo of course
The school of a thousand beans!
I always loved dojos that involved a thousand of something.
You always have strength in numbers
Having a thousand of something is always formidable
The 豆場
(the onyomi only kinda works because it would be とう as in 豆乳 but because 豆 is dou in Mandarin I’m willing to squint to make my joke work)
I know but I didn’t want to
. I didn’t know about the mandarin bit but I did consider it a possibility since you would have said dou instead of do otherwise.I see you know your beandou well
I learnt from the best and I am all about the bean.
The “Don’t shake me violently when I am mortally wounded and scream MASTER! in my face” Dojo.
The word “Crushing Dragon” flashed through my mind for no reason along with the image of a dragon chewing rocks.
That fucking rules
Mojo dojo. It would be only teaching moves seen in the power puff girls
Too powerful
lib.rehab
I’d be one of those beggars with surprising skills, but instead of being a glutton who shows up carrying a dog-beating stick whenever the protagonist is cooking a savory meal, I’d appear whenever there’s a cat meowing and I’d say shit like “In the jianghu all cats are beautiful.”
Id like toncuange my answer cause that is kinda me irl. Cats fucking love me and im raggedy AF.
Ooh! You could be from the school of the Cat Paw and roll fight by biting and then kicking
Our qinggong is unparalleled
Also I studied with the Quanzhen Sect but asked to be traded because they only let us play zone defense.
dojo jojo
gay bitches only
dojo cat
Probably a daoist sect called “The Garden of Morning Calm” where it’s quite literally a giant garden with practicioners caring for it to work on achieving enlightenment.
Also to learn Spear, bow, and fist arts
Wait, wouldn’t make more sense and be cooler to just specialize in gardening tools? If your worried about practicality don’t. Praticality is well within the bounds of fiction at this point. You could also make fun of the one weeb who shows up to gardening kung fu with a scythe because its “technically a gardening tool.”
I like my secret Kung fu master shtick. Like some small old grandpa with tiny bonsai gardening sheers coming out to defend his martial nephews from some new green mountain bandits trying to set up shop near the dojo
The 醉骷拳, Fist of the Drunken Skeleton
It’s a style where I get drunk on Espolon tequila and do shadow boxing in front of a muted TV playing Mad Men or something
And in the movie setting, I will somehow receive an invitation to the tournament possibly by accident but somehow make it to the quarterfinals before being disqualified for falling asleep in the ring
The other people in the setting would give my style some awful name like Hero Killer Demon Fist because I taught the mooks techniques like “bring all your friends to the fight” and “punch him in the back of the head while he’s trying to fight your friend”
So basically this guy’s style? “Unlimited Combat” or “Mad Dog Fist” where you find any weapon you can, aim for the neck/eyes/groin, scream and yell as loud as possible, and try to kill your assailant as quickly and legally as you can.
It’s not pretty or elegant. It does look effective as f*** though.
No, much more about ganging up on people than about yelling and flailing with scissors.
(Also the Mad Dog Fist guy needs to stop dangling his head forward during all his attacks.)
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
