Feeling more sane now that I’m out of the environment causing me stress, but aware of the one year timeline I have before getting put into the same environment.

There’s a lot to do. Prob need therapy— no, I know I do lol. At least I know that friends are supportive and might be willing to help me stay out of the environment, even though I haven’t told them much because these issues are still something I’m processing. I just realize that if I shut people out of my life, as rough as it is right now, the end results of losing community and support is worse.

Just can’t let my depression thoughts get to me— it’s paralyzing. But like I said, being out of the environment has definitely improved my mental health, and I feel like I have a bit more control again over my life.

I’m ok. Made a big change with my family and moved after a residence permit was approved to another country (2+ year process). Starting over isn’t the right term, maybe learning to adult? Everything is just a little different, so I find myself lost or confused on everything from the grocery store, to the market, to norms on crossing the street. It’s overwhelming.

Applying for jobs has been, well, bad like everywhere else. So much ghosting or emails that start with “Thank you for applying…” or “With over 100 candidates…” and you can take it from there.

Reverse bedtime procrastination is kicking my arse. I find that both choosing to go to sleep and physically getting out of bed each day are nigh-impossible.