Hi all. I’m new here (not really, been lurking since the reddit api days).
So I need some advice. This will be long and I apologise in advance.
spoiler
A bit about me: I did high school (90%+) and senior high (75%+) from a central university here. I’m being purposefully vague because I’m not sure exactly how much I should share. Took the engineering entrance exam twice. ~80%ile in 2024 and ~90%ile in 2025 (drop year in 24-25). Not good scores by any means.
Now, the reason why I chose engineering as a field in the first place was because I could pursue my interest ie Comp Sci (i’m not a reactionary techbro, i swear), and get a decent job to boot (could’ve done bsc comp sci or bca but the job prospects are slim). I didn’t and still don’t really care about the ‘engineer’ label. I didn’t imagine myself working for big tech. Rather, I would have loved to work for a small open source project and if that couldn’t help feed me then go for either research or teaching.
There’s a perception here in my country. Since engineering is such a saturated field (~1 million candidates appear for the entrance exam every year), and good institutes and colleges (IITs, NITs and a few others) are very few; either you are an IITian/NITian or you are just some random engineer whom nobody’s gonna hire. Of course you can work your ass off in B. Tech (that’s what they call B.Engineering here) and get into IIT/NIT in masters; or even get a meagre paying job at WITCH (quite apt acronym for the service based tech companies here), and get decent pay after switching 3-4 companies. Why did I tell you all this? Well, with my score of ~90%ile, I have no chance at any IIT/NIT in ANY branch (even biotech). So here are my options -
OPTION 1. Not an option anymore, but it will help explain my situation better.
The cental university i passed out from has quota/reservations for internal students. Therefore, I was admitted into B. Tech albeit with the branch being mechanical instead of Comp Sci (cuz, my rank). There is an option to upgrade your branch after first year, but only if you get 9+ CGPA. The fee was low. I had lived here for 8 years and knew the city. All was apparently well.
Here it gets personal : the drop year i took had broken me. Failure after failure (90+ in 10th > 75+ in 12th > barely qualified for engineering) had my confidence through the floor. I know I have no one to blame except me. But the possibility of another failure haunted me. What if I couldn’t score 9+ CGPA? My classmates who were smarter and more studious than me had scored 8.1 and 8.6, how could I even stand a chance? In first year we had to study basic sciences (physics, chemistry and mathematics), the very subjects that I had poor results in. I really, really didn’t want to be stuck in mechanical. As I’ve said, the only reason I chose engineering was so I could study Comp Sci.
So, I cancelled my admission.
That is one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to take. I genuinely, physically felt as if I was being weighed down by a stone during the whole 3-day process of cancellation.
Everybody told me I was crazy to let go of such a good college (it’s ranked under 50 in engineering category here). That mechanical was a core branch and had scope. And the environment here. Environment, environment, environment. You know what, I’ll give you the name (bad idea?) : I did senior high (called 12th here) from [Central Uni]. What environmental, pray tell, did they all speak of? All I saw was passive indoctrination (i’m not a debate bro atheist, i swear). And yes, that’s what everybody around me called the deeni environment, the religious environment.
OPTION 2. With [Central Uni] gone, this is what i WOULD have chosen (rather, this was the only practical choice).
With my %ile (or rank, rather) there are ~15 government colleges called GFTIs in which I can take admission. I’m getting Comp Sci and in some if them the fee is only a quarter of our household income (instead of being, y’know quadruple in some private colleges). They are not considered good (ranked under 200 in engineering), but, you know, the median package (after campus placement) is still pretty good (~6 lpa). It’s workable. Here are the problems.
- To a potential employer, my trajectory would look like a free fall. 90+ in 10th > 75+ in 12th > B. Tech from some nameless random government engineering college (couldn’t even crack [Central Uni], despite being an internal student).
- Apparently, they are too far. Some of them are in bordering states of China and Pakistan. I don’t have any problem (just takes 2 days : a train and then a bus ride), but my family is uneasy about sending me so far away. Now I know what women who wanted to study far away in the 20th century must have felt like.
OPTION 3. Now this is interesting. Some universities take admission in B. Tech through CUET, so I filled its form as well. Didn’t do well in science, as expected, but in English and General Test my %iles were 99 and 98, respectively (i still think it’s some mistake by the testing agency : can’t trust them obviously). I was told to fill the form of JNU by a elder relative, and it was cheap (~$4), so I did. Randomly filled course preferences as German, French and Japanese (was told Germany has free education, that’s why I put it on 1st). And I was selected in B.A (Hons) German, in the first list, no less. Now I am not one to believe in destiny, but these results came the day after I had confirmed my cancellation in [Central Uni].
A bit about JNU. It is ranked 10th in the OVERALL category (not engineering). Median package after BA courses is 8 lpa (but most students go for higher studies ie master and PhD). Extremely politically active. Fees are next to nothing (even for the mess and dining fee, you can get scholarship if you’re in the low income bracket, which I am).
One question that I’ve been asked is, ‘You weren’t willing to change from comp sci to mechanical, how do you explain this willingness to change from engineering to humanities?’. Main reason is I can still study Comp Sci in the future (explained in 3A), while living and studying in the best possible campus.
A few other reasons why I am considering it -
- Studying in the one of the best universities that my country has to offer, with minimal fees.
- Makes the aforementioned free fall just a bump on the road. After all, going from [Central Uni] to JNU is an upgrade.
- Parents can feel proud in saying their ward is in JNU (even i, after 3 years of extreme under- confidence and desperation, am feeling a tiny bit of happiness [well, my happiness lies in seeing my family happy, but i am getting sidetracked]).
- In such a politically active campus, I am bound to find at least a few comrades. In engineering focused institutes, I feel students will be a lot more of the Steve-Jobs-worshipping-start-up-bro types (is my thinking too stereotypical?).
With that out of the way, I see three sub-options -
3A. MS from Germany In my country, you can’t go into science fields after a BA. An M. Tech requires B. Tech, M. Sc requires B.Sbc. Apparently, its the same in Germany. I checked here (link), and all MS courses in Comp Sci require a bachelor in Comp Sci or related fields. What I am thinking is to do an online/distance BS course, while doing german from JNU. Dual degrees are valid here and its offered by one of the IITs (link), not some shady private college; so, hopefully, its validity wouldn’t be doubted. It’s not exactly Comp Sci but it’s related enough, right? This will allow me to apply for MS in Germany, and if not accepted there (i know acceptance rates are low), at least go for an M. Tech here in the future.
Some doubts:
- Workload. I’ve talked to students doing German, and got mixed responses ranging from just 3 hrs study per week to no time left for any other studies. I plan to get a sense for it in the first semester and see if it is doable.
- Sure, public universities might not charge tuition. But, what about living expenses. Could I afford them?
- Is it workable? Here I need the opinion of someone who’s from Germany (or studied in Germany). What do you think? Is it possible? Or just a pipe dream?
3B. Japanese? Bear with me. I ask myself, If I can’t do MS from Germany, why should I study German? I haven’t read a single piece of German literature. I know next to nothing about its culture. If I HAD to study a language, maybe go for Japanese. I’ve watched a lot of anime (no, not the pedo-romcom stuff. Favourites include : Mushishi, Mononoke, Haibane Renmei) After all, Japan is the only foreign country whose culture I know a little bit of (America doesn’t count). I can change subjects if I give CUET next year. I’m somewhat confident because even when I didn’t focus on or prioritise this exam, I scored 99%ile (was it actually just dumb luck?).
Doubts :
- There will be a 2 year gap in my resume. 1 year is common here, not 2.
- Will an MS from japan be more affordable than Germany? My research in this is lacking.
- Do I want to live in Japan long term. I mean, the vague plan in my head was to leave this country and move to a European country with good public transit (not just bikes, anyone?). How does Japan fit into this equation?
3C. Just study German Instead of diverting my attention to two degrees at the same time, focus solely on German and give it my all. Afterwards, become the person I hate : an MBA grad (seriously, all stupid decision in tech are taken by mba grads). An MBA grad with no morals and ethics whose sole purpose is printing as much money as possible. Passion? Interest? What’s that? Can it feed starving mouths?
One benefit I see to this sub option is I’ll be free to read theory (I’ve been telling myself that I’ll start theory when i go to college) and participate in college activities, maybe develop as a person. I mean, I’ll be with spending time with the best humanities students and professors, it’s bound to leave an imprint.
OPTION 4. Another drop? A drop is basically not taking admission anywhere this year and trying for entrance exams again next year. Partial drop is taking admission (in any college/course, but usually it’s bsc or B. Tech), but still trying for better result in next years’ entrance exam.
Every teacher I know has said that you should take admission after first drop, be it anywhere, and work hard there. Almost all 2nd droppers fail. I don’t think I have it in me.
What it might look like
- Going with option 2 and partial drop there
- Option 3 and partial drop there
- Stay at home another year and drop from here (pls god no)
Whenever I think about all if this, it just overloads and shuts off my brain (i’m dumb). It has taken me almost 4 hours to write all this (guess I was never cut out to be a writer). I’m on my phone so I apologise for any formatting mistakes.
Anything I might have missed? Any obvious oversight? Something I failed to consider? Any better plan/option I could’ve thought of? Please, please do tell.
Any advice you may have — any thought — will be sincerely, genuinely appreciated especially if you are in tech OR from Germany (or studied in Germany, or studied German). You hexbears are the only digital avenue I can turn to. I have till the 3rd of August to decide.
I think I had the opposite path to what you are considering (BSc in engineering at a top school and then an MA in the humanities in a small university). I went through hell with undiagnosed ADHD and unattended depression and anxiety issues, elite colleges, and engineering departments in particular seem to really enjoy putting students’ mental health at risk in the name of “excellence”. Studying engineering was a lot of fun, and when I signed up for it I couldn’t wait to work in my field and do nerdy shit, but after 5 years I had changed my mind. Found a well-paying, interesting job that had nothing to do with my major (the only requirement was to be a engineering grad), and worked for 5 years until I burned out and left the country and everything I knew to pursue a masters that could have a humanities or more technical outcome (it was up to me). Now it’s been 10 years since I graduated college, so 15 years since I entered an elite engineering school convinced I wanted to be in a technical field, and I’m the healthiest and happiest I’ve ever been working as a food scholar and researcher in the humanities.
Why do I tell you all of this? To show you that while choosing a school and a major look like (and are) huge choices that will chase you for the rest of your life, a winding path is just as good if not better if it gets you to where you want to be. It’s likely you’ll find yourself wanting different things a couple years from now, so don’t sweat it too much. You can always change your tune.
There are practical considerations, but if I could go back and give myself some advice? I wouldn’t tell myself not to go into engineering school or to study more humanities formally, but to be more generous to myself, and to see where my curiousity would take me. If that in your case means taking technical courses on top of your coursework, that’s awesome. Just make sure you’re being fair to yourself and not condemning your future self to a long recovery process. Burnout takes 4 years to recover from
Now, coming from someone with both a technical and humanities background: I can see how a degree in a foreign language can seem limiting, but on the other hand, I don’t think you need all the technical knowledge of a compsci degree to get into coding and contributing to projects or coming up with your own stuff. On the other hand, a humanities education, if you know how to present it to potential employers, it can be eye opening and make you a more adaptable, conscious person. You will not only be learning languages, you’ll be learning phylology, philosophy, literary criticism, intercultural communication. All of those are good skills to have, even if you want to have a more technical role in the future.
I haven’t studied in Germany, but I know plenty of people who have, and I have to warn you: technical masters are very specialized and narrow in scope there. Also, graduate education there expects you to already know the way things work there and whatever topics they cover the way they do it.
There will be very little if no support, and education isn’t free either; it’s relatively cheap for Europeans (about 500-1000 euro a year) but for people in the global south like us that may be a huge sum to put together while you technically can’t even work there. On top of that you have living expenses and so on, and rent in Germany is downright criminal. Also, given the rightward turn in German politics, and the huge investment in arms at the expense of social services they’re planning, it wouldn’t surprise me if in the future they decided to follow the UK’s or Italy’s lead to charge foreigners a higher price.
Sorry for rambling, but I hope this is of some help.
Yeah, that’s why I planned to get a sense of the load in the first semester, and see if the technical course would be doable.
That’s exactly what I was worried about. The only people who are able to afford foreign education here are the children of politicians or businessman, of which I am neither. 1000 euro is already more than half of our yearly household income.
Yup, the recent popularity of right wing and anti-immigration parties had me a little worried too. Also one of the reasons I thought, ‘Was putting German in 1st preference the wrong choice?’. Guess I’ll have to continue my higher education here for the time being.
Please don’t be. Your experience with both humanities and tech was extremely valuable. The fact you wanted to do nerdy shit after college, just like me, and then changed changed fields, has given me a lot to think about. I’ve read it elsewhere as well, something along the lines of ‘don’t turn your hobby into a job’.
Honesty, I couldn’t have asked for a better perspective.
Just as a small addendum to what I said, my warning was to not put all your eggs in the “MSc in Germany” basket, not to discard the idea altogether. There’s tons of scholarships for students from the global south, and I have many South Asian friends who went to Europe on a scholarship; hell, the only way I could afford to do my masters was because I had a scholarship, too.
Getting a scholarship for people from the global south who want to get higher education in Europe isn’t all that difficult, and it doesn’t require crazy academic excellence. Most (but not all) scholarships include a living stipend and housing, or at least some support for it, so it wouldn’t be as prohibitive as I made it out to be.
But, as I said: you have 4-5 years of undergrad to learn so much and go through so many experiences that the picture of what you want for the future will either change or at least become clearer.
Idk about that whole “don’t turn your passion into your job” thing. I’m autistic and I have ADHD, so doing something I’m not invested in takes so much work. I have been fortunate to have found my niche in academia, so I get paid to hyperfixate (and deal with some bs, too). Keep learning and doing tech stuff, and if you want to do it full-time, by all means, do that! Just know that these days tons of fields outside of the rat race and prestige-chasing of tech (and with a lower concentration of chuds/horrible people) hire coders. I’ve seen coders/statisticians collaborate with linguists, artists, evolutionary biologists, museums, activists, humanities scholars, you name it. Really fascinating work being done. There’s a place for programming outside of tech, just saying.