I was kicked out of rentals multiple times for being visibly queer. I was scared out of some more by people who even moved after me, but made my life a living hell just for being queer. I was driven into near daily crying during highschool by my peers and sometimes even teachers. I was regularly spat on in public with no reaction from other people. I had a car full of tank top wearing men stop with the intention of beating me up when I was in middle school because they thought I looked too much like a “f*g”. To see people, some of whom apparently so privileged they don’t even experience systematic queerphobia as per own admission, claim us here aren’t queer is so hurtful because it feels like it dismisses my entire lifetime of queer pain. Sincere fuck you to the people who make those claims. Maybe you are the one who isn’t even queer and just sows discord amogus. trans-uno amogus

  • nocages [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    106·
    2 years ago

    It’s because none of these people seem to have ever seen an actual safe space in their lives.

    Of course “nobody” uses neopronouns in general society. We all know what would happen if we did. Shame, ridicule, and violence would follow. And we’re very attuned to reading online spaces for transphobia as well. Despite what a lot of people would like to think, many online queer spaces are NOT inclusive and safe.

    I was an old-school redditor, and I browsed the trans subs for a few months. I saw so much hatred there. The general spaces erased all identities that didn’t fit the “mtf” experience, so the trans men stayed away in their own space. Both their space and the general ones were OPENLY hateful of non-binary people for years.

    This is one of the first spaces I’ve ever seen online that is truly inclusive. The neopronoun options are already there, you don’t have to ask for them. Everyone is forced to show their pronouns, none of this “well mine are normal” garbage. There is a culture that promotes repressed voices.

    And when some people see this, they can’t even fathom it. To them, being “an ally” means allowing trans people to wear a pronoun pin and respecting those pronouns so long as they are “normal” enough, then carrying on with life as normal. If queer discussions ever start taking place in the open, they get uncomfortable because they’re not used to it. If someone who uses any pronoun besides they or she or he, they get uncomfortable. This is transphobia. They just don’t recognize it as such.

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      66·
      2 years ago

      It’s because none of these people seem to have ever seen an actual safe space in their lives.

      Of course not, why would anybody let rabid transphobes wander into a safe space?

  • mar_k [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    103·
    2 years ago

    it also just straight up makes no sense. hexbear has had a queer majority long before federating with anyone. we were posting about being trans and gay for 3 years to trick who exactly?

    • Tachanka [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      7·
      2 years ago

      This is truly the heart of it. Because reactionaries in the imperial periphery pretend any organic LGBTQIA+ movement in their country is “western deg%neracy” and because liberals like to claim a (false) ideological monopoly on being allies to LGBTQIA+ people, any LGBTQIA+ person who shows solidarity with the anti-imperialist movement against NATO is a cishet reactionary red fash tankie disguising themselves as a LGBTQIA+ person, according to the fake ally imperialist liberals. And according to the reactionaries in the periphery, any Communist who shows solidarity with LGBTQIA+ is a liberal in disguise. We actually see the false narratives of the imperial core liberals and the imperial periphery reactionaries reinforcing each other in a sicko spiral. A NATO official can hold up a rainbow flag (a purely symbolic act of fake solidarity) and some prince in Qatar can say “see, I told you! The imperialists want to impose their deg%neracy on us!” Meanwhile if there’s some kind of organic domestic LGBTQIA+ movement in the global south, the reactionaries will say “these people are agents of the western think tanks!”

      • SuperNovaCouchGuy2 [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
        2·
        2 years ago

        Wow thanks for your excellent post! Really explains well the root brainworm rearing mechanisms behind the Natoid’s crank thinking and the reactionaries (like the “patriotic socialists”) who exploit the former’s bigoted imperial dishonesty to further their own warped agenda.

        If I may Id suggest you make this as a separate post on its own!

  • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    92·
    2 years ago

    Yeah it’s incredibly awful. Why the fuck would anyone say that?

    You think people here have been secretly pretending to be queer for THREE FUCKING YEARS just to infiltrate your new queer space? Come on. The left has been doing queer politics a hell of a lot longer than liberals have.

    Be gay. Do crime.

  • AbbysMuscles [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    82·
    2 years ago

    My entire family disowned me after I came out. If I hadn’t already been working a pretty great job that allowed me to be fully self-sufficient I would’ve been homeless for sure. And in the time since, I’ve met some incredible people. I’ve loved and been loved by, helped and been helped by, and had my world enlarged and enriched by some of the most beautiful people in the world. Anyone who would think to negate that because I would like to see society improved somewhat is welcome to take a short jump into a deep mineshaft.

  • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    74·
    2 years ago

    The entire “how can you have that many different pronouns” discourse is by far the dumbest thing i’ve seen since the start of our federation, and it isn’t just painfully cringe and ignorant and a clear sign that these people lack any and all experience with queer spaces unless you count r/196 and the trans category on pornhub, it is simply outright, open transphobia to deny peoples’ gender identity. That’s the very core of transphobic sentiment, to deny us our right to gendered self determination.

    It’s sad to see these reactionaries have now also extended their attacks to other parts of the queer community, but it isn’t surprising. These people always start with what they perceive to be the easy targets, but it’s part and parcel of reactionary persecution campaigns to expand the outgropups they go after. This, besides the moral imperative of solidarity, is the strategic reasoning behind “an injury to one of us is an injury to all of us.”

    We cannot tolerate such attacks on our queer comrades anywhere on lemmy. The perpetrators should be hunted down wherever we find them, and we should make it a cross-instance effort to make lemmy a safer space for queer people, and an extremely unsafe space for queerphobes of all kind. I propose that federated instances share blocklists of queerphobic users so that eventual bans can be extended to other instances preemptively. In a day and age were our community faces the worst attacks since the AIDS pandemic, we must look out for and protect each other.

  • FuckyWucky [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    74·
    2 years ago

    yea these claims are very malicious. their default assumption is that ‘this person is tankie therefore not LGBTQ+’.

    the default assumption should be to believe that the person is saying they’re gay in good faith.

  • LeBron [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    72·
    2 years ago

    Western ally behavior is so selfish. Once it gets uncomfortable for the “ally” or they have their beliefs challenged, queer people become much less human in their eyes and need to be discredited somehow.

    It makes me furious how few online spaces are truly safe for the community, don’t doubt that there are tons of cis comrades who see you as completely valid with no strings or nefarious bullshit attached.

  • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    66·
    2 years ago

    It is extremely hurtful. I live in fear every day because of homophobia and hate crimes, yet I’m a fake gay because I don’t share the same beliefs as a westerner? What the hell?

    Do gays in the global south/third world not exist to them? Do I have to become some comparador for the west to be gay? Why would I even do that when South Africa legalised LGBT rights before any of the western nations they are from? Despite all our homophobia and bigotry, we still managed to legalise LGBT rights before them. How does this work. It sounds like they’re doing the whole LGBT is western decadence shit, but unironically.

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    66·
    2 years ago

    I’m still a baby budding imposter feeling queer but fortunately I was also raised a cis het man so when someone tells me that I’m not queer I have the socialized energy to say “how dare you tell me what I’m not!”

    How dare anyone tell any of my comrades, queer, trans, or otherwise, what they aren’t. You are who you are whoever you are. You’re all heckin valid. We’re all heckin valid. Send those bad beans to me I’ll smash em if they tell you otherwise

  • autismdragon [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    63·
    2 years ago

    There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism.