After I started eating vegan, I did have a bit of an existential crisis, because all the food in my home was just plants and salt.

I did come to terms with that, though, when I realized that dairy, eggs, meat, mushrooms etc. are also just pre-eaten plants.

Congress once voted to tax pizza as a vegetable due to the tomato sauce, so this isn’t a farfetched idea. Just pay some lobbyists and you’ll have yourself a salad.

What a wise man.