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cm0002@mander.xyz to Memes@sopuli.xyz · 23 hours ago

Apple that makes eunuchs

lemmy.ml

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  • memes@lemmy.ml
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Apple that makes eunuchs

lemmy.ml

cm0002@mander.xyz to Memes@sopuli.xyz · 23 hours ago
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54
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  • cross-posted to:
  • memes@lemmy.ml
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  • bold_omi@lemmy.today
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    6 minutes ago

    It does not, in fact, do that.

  • Seth Taylor@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    Trans lifehack

    • CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      Was about to ask where to find some, asking for a friend of course

  • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    5 hours ago

    If, hypothetically, some sort of person who didn’t have a dick and balls were to eat it?

    • qarbone@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      It’s expunging 15g of crotchmeat no matter what you do or don’t have, so buckle up.

      • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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        4 hours ago

        So, for reference, studies like the sources for this article suggest the average human penis weighs between 70-100 grams.

        So you’d be growing a micropenis at 15g. Not quite the effusive expulsion you were imagining.

  • diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    Wait wait wait hold up

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    Www.applerankings.com

  • Annoyed_🦀 @lemmy.zip
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    11 hours ago

    Shouldn’t it be called Instant Trans Apple? Non invasive transition, very convenient.

    • sunsofold@lemmy.zip
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      40 minutes ago

      I imagine it’d be more like the kind of removal one gets from other natural causes, like frostbite or a bloodclot. I.e. painful and necrotic

    • Pommes_für_dein_Balg@feddit.org
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      10 hours ago

      This implies trans women are just men without genitals.

      • qarbone@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        No it doesn’t? The apple doesn’t check if you’re a man before de-dickandballs-ing you. It’ll uproot the twig and berries whether you’re cis, trans, or intersex.

      • Lumisal@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        Your comment implies women that are trans and get surgery aren’t trans, just men without genitals.

        • Pommes_für_dein_Balg@feddit.org
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          4 hours ago

          No, it doesn’t.

      • iocase@lemmy.zip
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        9 hours ago

        This implies the speed running community doesn’t exist

        • Callypo@lemmy.world
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          7 hours ago

          This has dire cobsequences for the furry community!

  • altphoto@lemmy.today
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    11 hours ago

    If mine fell off, I would make a device to keep it alive so I could play with it when ever I wanted to. Plus now that’s detached you could toss it around, let her borrow it for a few nights or let her use it in the shower. Lots of good things could be coming from this. We just don’t see it because we haven’t been in this position before.

    • Gonzako@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      WifiDICK

    • karlhungus@lemmy.ca
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      10 hours ago

      https://youtu.be/55uaB-0nawo

      • altphoto@lemmy.today
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        4 hours ago

        Hilarious!

      • JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz
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        7 hours ago

        Wow, almost forgot about this one.

  • Jo4ted@lemmy.zip
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    13 hours ago

    Any other transfems want to join me in going on an adventure to find these?

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    14 hours ago

    My sister would love these.

  • AeronMelon@lemmy.world
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    23 hours ago

    [several transfems are typing…]

    • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      20 hours ago

      Mm…mmmrrroow 🥺

  • macniel@feddit.org
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    23 hours ago

    Omg that’s horrible…

    Where can one find one?

  • Courtney (she/her/they) @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    23 hours ago

    Damn, I just want my balls off. I wanna keep my dick.

    What if I just have a nibble?

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      4 hours ago

      Yeah like is there an artificial flavour I can try? Also someone attached to the birth kit

    • expr@piefed.social
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      6 hours ago

      I’ve never heard someone say that before. Why would you want one but not the other, if you don’t mind my asking?

      • Bluewing@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        Well, you could still pee standing up.

      • Ginny [they/she]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        5 hours ago

        Hello! I’m not the person you asked but I figured I’d throw in my experience.

        In my case, if I could snap my fingers and instantly change my penis to a vulva, I would. But I had a haemorroid surgery many years ago, and the month or so afterwards was one of the worst times of my life, so I would prefer it if no surgeon ever went anywhere near my lower trunk ever again.

        But everyone’s experience is different. Some women just like to fuck, and of the trans women who do, some don’t feel the need to replace the factory installed equipment for doing so.

    • tetris11@feddit.uk
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      21 hours ago

      I remember Snow White a little differently from this

      • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        5 hours ago

        You know all those stories were sanitized.

    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works
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      20 hours ago

      I’m not sure you really want that. As a horny teen I wanked myself dry a few times and it is painful. Imagine it felt like that every time.

      • Redjard@reddthat.com
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        6 hours ago

        Balls only make sperm, the fluid is the prostate(?) or smthn, it comes from inside the body.

      • Courtney (she/her/they) @lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        19 hours ago

        No, I’m positive I want that.

        I think as a teen we all went a little too hard with our equipment once or twice lmao

  • Beth@piefed.social
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    23 hours ago

    Can it do tops too?

    • moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 hours ago

      Does it do weddings as well?

  • SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org
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    20 hours ago

    No, thanks. I hate sweet apples. Give them to us sour and crunchy.

    • king_comrade@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      What’s apple’s, precious?

  • atomicorange@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    No negatives you say?

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