After a week of deliberating if Iran’s national soccer team will be able to attend their scheduled World Cup Games in Seattle and LA this summer, today the United States clarified they may as long as the team consists of no dangerous elementary school children.
“If Iran’s national soccer team can pass an extensive security background check ensuring it consists of no players who are as fearsome as the 165 elementary school children we had to blow up with a Tomahawk missile last week, we may be able to work something out,” said Secretary of State Marco Rubio. “But that’s a big if! You can’t underestimate how sneaky and smart these Iranian kids can be. According to our intelligence, many of those children were allegedly able to do math as advanced as long division.”
The world should boycott the world cup as we cannot get to the USA thanks to the sky high fuel prices for planes, caused by the war in Iran, not to mention the rediculous immigration policies and serious danger of being thrown in to a cell by ICE.
FIFA should give all countries a bye on qualification and make the 2030 world cup with the same teams that should be playing in this world cup.
The World Cup hosting duties are being shared by three countries. You could remove the World Cup from the United States without canceling the tournament; FIFA would move the matches to Bmo field, BC Place, Estadio Akron, Estadio Monterrey and the Azteca — the Canadian and Mexican stadia already hosting matches.
lol dayum
